Who's the Big Wiener?

Bezzie, that's who!

If you're visiting this blog for the first time (and if you are, I invite you to stop by tomorrow for Wookin Pa Nub Wednesday), I ask a simple question every Tuesday and the answer to the question can be found somwhere on my blog. You can send me your answer either by posting a comment (which I moderate) or emailing me directly. Then I draw a name at random from all the entries with the correct answer. The prize is a lil bitty bottle of Simple Green.

Why Simple Green? Cuz they sent me a buttload of lil bitty bottles when I asked them if they made lil bitty bottles. I wonder if the good people at Toyota would send me a minivan if I wrote them to ask if they made minivans. Ya think?


Last week's question was:

Last spring, when I was approached via email by a total stranger asking me to disclose my bank account information so that some rich widow could name me as her next of kin and transfer me nine million dollars, what did I tell the stranger my name was, and what was my family famous for?

The answer was Molly Miller, heir to the Miller Beer fortune. But at one point the guy emailed me calling me Molly Bier, so that's close enough for me (and the other two people who got it right have already won), so Yay Bezz! There's some Simple Green comin' your way!

Oh, and if you've won some Simple Green recently (Fluffy Ewe, Poops, Sarah, Bob), it's coming, I promise. I'm just slow. Ya see, Oprah has somebody else taking care of the logistics of giving shit away to all of her fans, I'm doing it all by myself. So chill.

Ok, next question. Should be an easy one.

What was I supposed to order for my mom at Starbucks?

Good luck.



Other interesting developments:

Yesterday Beeb brought home a note about an informational meeting for the Girl Scout Troop! (Hmmmm... I wonder if somebody's been reading my blog??) She wants to do it, and I think I'll let her if it doesn't conflict with all her other stuff. I want to either show the Stella Dallas Moms that I'm not as big an idiot as they make me feel like I am, or else maybe have some fun with it and go completely ballz-out crazy and scare the hell out of them. Like come to a meeting dressed as a pirate or offer to teach the troop the art of pole dancing. Just think of all the cookies they'll sell! Or maybe I can teach them to knit baby black widow spider hats!

I'm extremely concerned about Beeb's schoolwork. She's had nine late assignments in less than nine weeks. Granted, she's only in 4th grade so it's not a huge deal yet, but it will be if she doesn't grasp the concept of Keep Track Of Your Work now. She and I had a conference with her teacher, I've grounded her, banned her from watching TV, everything I can think of.

Even after the conference she's missed assignments. Even after a conversation just last night about the total number of missed assignments she's had this quarter, she was caught in a lie this morning when it came time for me to sign her assignment notebook. She'd told me last night that she did all of her homework when in fact she hadn't, PLUS she had waited until the last possible minute to give me a note from the teacher for me to sign about the homework she didn't turn in the day before. I was FURIOUS.

I think what bothers me the most about it is that I would do anything in the world to help her and I have already done all I can do. It's up to her to accept the responsibility of remembering to bring home the assignment, finish it and turn it in on time. She has to learn this herself. I can't do anything but remind her to do it and hope she's not lying to me when she tells me it's done. Her teacher has told me that she cries when she doesn't have her homework, because she knows that I'm going to find out she lied to me.

The Twitterbitches were not in attendance at Bellydancing last night. We had a substitute teacher who was tougher than our regular teacher, and the sub told me I had "a great shimmy"!! I think I'm going to add the Thursday night class to my schedule now that I'm giving up on my aerobics class.

Why am I ditching aerobics? Last week when I arrived the class was walking out of the building due to a fire drill. Um, ok... I had the boys with me so I didn't know what to do. I went inside to drop them with the babysitter but the people inside told me we had to get out because of the fire drill, so I took them back outside to ask the instructor if she knew where the kids were, and the class had already begun walking around the perimeter of the parking lot. The boys and I started walking to try to catch up, but within about thirty seconds the boys weren't having any more of that, and the class was way too far ahead, so I just left and I'm not planning on returning.

There are only about six people in the class, would it have killed someone to stay behind and tell me what the hell I was supposed to do? Couldn't they have waited a minute while I dropped the boys off? They saw that I had the boys, I obviously couldn't drag them on the walk, they didn't even have jackets or anything. I dunno, maybe I'm over-reacting, but I thought it was kinda shitty.

Most of the other women in the class have kids that go to the babysitter too, and nobody offered to tell me where I was supposed to take my kids. That just really pissed me off. I mean, yeah, it's aerobics and it's not like we have to be best friends or anything, just help a sistah out! Other moms know how hard it is to get up and get the kids ready and get out of the house, c'mon!