Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Still Wookin!

Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and preface this with the disclaimer that I KNOW these aren't nearly as funny as the Blue Footed Booby Girl in last week's post. You're all just going to have to accept her a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. Deal.

Let's move on to this week's unsavories. As always, these are actual profile photos from an online dating website.

Again with the scrunchies!
How old ARE you??

Is she snarling on purpose or is her necklace too tight?

That's just an ungodly amount of AquaNet.

Her profile says she's 25.

Nuthin says sexy like a look of total desperation. Is it the ridiculously awkward pose, the exploding poof of bangs, the feeble attempt at a come-hither look through her too-big-for-her-face glasses, the black feathers or the fact that she's probably topless underneath the black feathers that bugs me most about this picture? I can't decide.

Oh, wait - I'm pretty sure it's the topless part.

At first glance, I thought, Hey, when did Harry Potter grow Boobs? This is Shannon, posing seductively to give the guys a lil peek at her great rack... and her BOOB ZITS! GIH!!

And now, the guys -

If a grown man in a Boy Scout Uniform isn't creepy enough for you, get this - his username is Goodnsticky.

Tell me THAT'S not totally fuckin sick.

Check it out - it's EARL!

What's that collar about? And look on the wall - what's that a map of?

I guess when your dad is Christopher Walken, you can be as weird as you want.

Boy, doesn't this guy look like a fun date? Looks like he just stumbled in after getting his ass kicked in a bar fight.

Cue the 1970's cheesy porn music.

Abowchickabow BAAAAA WOW chickabow...

"Oh, come on, Mom! I don't wanna stand by the flowers for a picture. No. NO!!! Awwww, dammit, Mom - fine! CHEESE!!!

There, are you HAPPY now?? It's not gonna help me find a girlfriend, Mom. No, it's NOT! I don't CARE if you want grandchildren! Oh, for Christ's sake, shut UP, Mother!!!

Ok, that's it! I swear to God, I am TOTALLY going to move out of the basement - really, really soon!"


helen said...


*holds stomach*


*deep breath*


man, oh MAN. i like the last guy. heh. ohhhh boy. this was a great week, Sarah!

SiressYorkie said...

Wow, this crop doesn't seem as pathetic as the last, but still...honestly, is this the BEST these folks can do picture-wise?? I mean, if I was doing this, I'd make sure that my boobs didn't have sores on them, my hair was somewhere in this century, and I looked...well, clean. And had filled out the questionnaires. Just coz it's on-line doesn't me you don't have to TRY, folksies.

Dzepplin...I'm pretty sure I saw him spray painting something on an overpass the otherday on the M25...

Bob said...

Awright....I'm evicting my old Boy Scout uniform outta my closet and into the trash today!

Bezzie said...

She WAS 25.....back in 1982.

lynnm said...

I cannot get enough of these. people watching is my favorite hobby and you have made it even easier- Idon;t have to leave my desk.

turtlegirl76 said...

Oh but his shirt matches the flowers just so nicely, it really brings out the creepy in his eyes.

bensmumma said...

Ummm, you mean, scrunchies are a nono? I suppose you'll make fun of shocking pink lipstick next... and I probably can't wear my polka-dotted tube top with spandex hotpants and slides either. I think I'll go eat some worms.

Jessica said...

oh my god. You are too much. My favs are harry potter for the girls and earl for the boys. haha!!

Zonda said...

You are just too cool! Where do you find this!! Thanks for the laugh! :)

buttercup said...

Momma's Flower Boy has a stain on his shirt too! Maybe Mom should start doing his laundry again. hee hee!

Thanks PK for cracking me up!

Sharpie said...

OMGGGGGGGG Girl ya KILL ME!!!! I think you should pitch this idea as a TV show - I swear to god it would be bigger than SNL. Anyone know a tv exec???????????

ZantiMissKnit said...

Harry "Boobzits" Potter may have made me throw up in my mouth, just a little bit.

RuthlessNeverRuthie said...

May I submit, for the regional competition, Gregg from Ohio:

"home nudist" -??