Some days aren't so funny. But I'm still stickin' to my schedule.

Tito woke me up at 4am to inform me that he'd once again peed through his diaper and gotten his bed wet. Fine, I said, go get a new diaper and I'll fix it. So he starts clamoring about the house and finally yells, loud enough to wake everyone in our house and probably the neighbors too,

"MAAAAAAAAAAAH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, we no HAVE more doppers!"

Oh yeah, I forgot to buy more. Guess you get panties today, Big Boy!

So he did ok in panties for about an hour, and then after breakfast I told him to go try on the potty again, and I saw him walk into the bathroom. As I was cleaning up the breakfast dishes (this is still before dawn, mid you), I heard him say, from the bathroom, "Mommy, it too late!"

I poked my head in and saw him, still peeing, standing in front of the sink, just inches from the toilet. I totally lost it. I should have handled it better, like maybe said "Oh, wow, you were so close! Next time you'll get there", but instead I pointed out, at length and at a completely inappropriate volume, the ironic proximity between the potty and the puddle on the floor. I tried to make up for it when I put another pair of undies on him and I told him it was okay and he could try again later.

Maybe an hour or so afterwards, I heard his voice (from the living room this time) alerting me to the fact that it was, once again, Too Late. I demanded to know where the puddle was this time. He looked at the floor and said "Nowhere..."

Great, I thought. He's not going to confess, so I'll probably have to walk around barefoot for a while and I'll either step in a wet spot or, in a couple of days, a spot on the carpet will show up.

Then I realized what he meant. There wasn't a puddle this time because he POOPED instead. Judging by the size of it, that poop could NOT have snuck up on him. He HAD to know that was coming. Oh, and as I was cleaning it out of his undies and attempting to get the poop in the potty where it belongs, it clogged the toilet and I had to get out the plunger.

All this took place before 8am.
I hate waking up to potty drama.

And then I dropped the boys at their school and went to work at the library at Beeb's school. The librarian told me that something had happened recently that made her think of Beebie. She was clearing out the library's database of kids because the school is starting a new reading program which requires the school to pay for each child who takes part in it. She had to delete the names of the kids that don't go to the school anymore, and yesterday she had to take Beeb's friend Jack (her best friend who died when they were in 2nd grade)'s name out of the system. She said it broke her heart to do it. It broke my heart too.

One at a time, the little things that remind us of him - the tangible evidence of his incredible life - are disappearing. Like he never existed.

I wept.

I'm tired, frustrated, and now I'm sad too.

And later, while I was telling this story to my friend Eric via Yahoo Messenger, Tito walked in and said, "I sorry, Mommy!" Fabfuckulous.

More poop. Poop leaking out the sides of his panties and down his legs. Oh, my GOD, it was horrible. Seriously, I'm gagging now at the recollection of it. I wanted to kill him, I'm so sick of this stupid potty training crap. And then I thought how much Jack's mom would give to have just one more day with him.

And then I felt like the biggest asshole alive.

Oh, and just now as I'm typing up the highlights my day for your amusement, Tito has peed somewhere. He's yelling at me now to get him some new panties. It never ends.

Mommeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I wet!!!

SUFFER.

Mommeeeeeeee??? You deaf????? (took me a second to figure out that was what he was saying)

I wish.


Cuz then I probably wouldn't have subjected myself to Part I of the Celebrity Duets Grand Finale. Part II is tonight - set your Tivo!

Oh, and my favorite lines from Earl and Office were:

"I could float your whole family across a muddy river on these puppies!" and "DWIGHT GOT A HOOKER!" And did you hear Joy refer to Girl Scouts as "flat-chested pygmy sluts"?!?!?!

See, I started out with a shitty day, and I still managed to get TV-Talk Friday in! I think I'm going to keep Thursdays themeless. I'll call them Themeless Thursdays, and it'll be like a catch-all, Potpourri category (although today I think it could be called POO-pourri). That's when I'll just talk about whatever I want. Won't that be interesting?

No, probably not.