Friday, September 22, 2006

Aren't Y'all the Biggest Buncha Asskissers Ever?!!?

And I love you for it.

In fact, I love you so much that I've decided to give more stuff away. You guys are gonna feel just like Oprah's Audience (minus the Amy Poehler's head exploding part)! Next month will be celebrated as "OCTOPRAH".

Oh wait, a couple of days ago I said next month was going to be Socktober. Maybe it could be Socktoprah? Maybe I'll do contests and a pair of socks. I can multitask, right? Shut up. Sure I can.

Remember all those little bitty bottles of Simple Green I got for asking the people at Simple Green if they made little bitty bottles of Simple Green? I thought I'd introduce a weekly-ish Simple Green Simple Quiz. It'll be a simple question that one could easily answer by reading my blog, and then I'll draw a winner randomly from the responses. The prize is, of course, a little bitty bottle of Simple Green.

Ready? Here's the first one.

Simple Green Simple Quiz

Complete this memorable sentence:
"Mom, hurry up and change my poop..."

Clue: There are 5 words in the answer.

Chez Karma is abuzz with activity. Beebie was selected to be on her school's newspaper staff. I was surprised when she told me she wanted to apply for it, because although she enjoys writing, she's always losing points for not including enough details in her paragraphs and getting pissy when I try to help. Hopefully she'll get some feedback from the teacher who's in charge and she'll become a better writer.

Beebie also begins flute lessons next week, thanks to My Friend Wonky who cut me a sweet deal on a really nice instrument. Beebie is THRILLED. I just have to get the line "This one time, at band camp..." out of my brain, and I think we'll be fine.

As we were leaving the boys' preschool on Monday, guess who got to the top of the stairs, decided I wasn't moving fast enough, and yelled "LET'S GO, WOMAN!!!!!!"

That would be The Pie.

Miraculously, I held back the "Oh, HELL NO!" I wanted to say, and instead I said "I did NOT just hear that." And then I heard the Preschool Co-ordinator laugh and say, "Well, I sure did!" Great.

Tito still is not the least bit interested in going on the potty.

R may be getting a new job which would mean he'd be home on Saturdays (yay!) BUT would take away our treasured Wednesday "Date Days" and could interfere with the classes he's taking. We kinda don't want him to switch jobs but it's really not his choice, they're "re-shuffling" the teams once again and it's all about Seniority. Ugh.

Let's see... OH! I got my grande finale package from my SP7, Stephy! I especially liked the pretty stitch markers and the pink yarn! I promise to read the Guide, too.

AND I got my big weiner package from OLPP! I'm not gonna say what it is, though, just in case other people haven't gotten theirs yet.


Trillian42 said...

I believe that memorable quote was "I got stuff to DO!"

Which still makes me laugh, mostly because I am not a parent and do not have to change anyone's poop.

Bezzie said...

You got weiners from OLPP? I got something else, but not a big weiner.

Poops said...


Such a precious child. Things you are saving for a wedding toast someday, I hope.


Stacie said...

Shit! I need to pay attention!

Cindy said...

OK. What's OLPP? Also, I'm missing on the reality shows? Have you stopped watching or is it redundant?

OldLadyPenPal said...

there's only ONE person who gets my wiener, and he's not man enough to talk about it with strangers. um...

yes, i'm tacky, and some people got a tiny thing extra and some people lost out to my greed and need for the bad-mood soothe that only that one thing can provide. my need to send things out (over a week late!)overpowered my need to go back to the store....

and how about SocktOprahfest?

and i can't find the poop reference!

The Fluffy Ewe said...

I believe the end of that infamous line was "I got stuff to do."

Lol, Bezz....

ZantiMissKnit said...


Is that it? I could cheat and look it up, but it is one of my favorite poop stories so I think I remember it.