Friday, September 29, 2006

Some days aren't so funny. But I'm still stickin' to my schedule.

Tito woke me up at 4am to inform me that he'd once again peed through his diaper and gotten his bed wet. Fine, I said, go get a new diaper and I'll fix it. So he starts clamoring about the house and finally yells, loud enough to wake everyone in our house and probably the neighbors too,

"MAAAAAAAAAAAH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, we no HAVE more doppers!"

Oh yeah, I forgot to buy more. Guess you get panties today, Big Boy!

So he did ok in panties for about an hour, and then after breakfast I told him to go try on the potty again, and I saw him walk into the bathroom. As I was cleaning up the breakfast dishes (this is still before dawn, mid you), I heard him say, from the bathroom, "Mommy, it too late!"

I poked my head in and saw him, still peeing, standing in front of the sink, just inches from the toilet. I totally lost it. I should have handled it better, like maybe said "Oh, wow, you were so close! Next time you'll get there", but instead I pointed out, at length and at a completely inappropriate volume, the ironic proximity between the potty and the puddle on the floor. I tried to make up for it when I put another pair of undies on him and I told him it was okay and he could try again later.

Maybe an hour or so afterwards, I heard his voice (from the living room this time) alerting me to the fact that it was, once again, Too Late. I demanded to know where the puddle was this time. He looked at the floor and said "Nowhere..."

Great, I thought. He's not going to confess, so I'll probably have to walk around barefoot for a while and I'll either step in a wet spot or, in a couple of days, a spot on the carpet will show up.

Then I realized what he meant. There wasn't a puddle this time because he POOPED instead. Judging by the size of it, that poop could NOT have snuck up on him. He HAD to know that was coming. Oh, and as I was cleaning it out of his undies and attempting to get the poop in the potty where it belongs, it clogged the toilet and I had to get out the plunger.

All this took place before 8am.
I hate waking up to potty drama.

And then I dropped the boys at their school and went to work at the library at Beeb's school. The librarian told me that something had happened recently that made her think of Beebie. She was clearing out the library's database of kids because the school is starting a new reading program which requires the school to pay for each child who takes part in it. She had to delete the names of the kids that don't go to the school anymore, and yesterday she had to take Beeb's friend Jack (her best friend who died when they were in 2nd grade)'s name out of the system. She said it broke her heart to do it. It broke my heart too.

One at a time, the little things that remind us of him - the tangible evidence of his incredible life - are disappearing. Like he never existed.

I wept.

I'm tired, frustrated, and now I'm sad too.

And later, while I was telling this story to my friend Eric via Yahoo Messenger, Tito walked in and said, "I sorry, Mommy!" Fabfuckulous.

More poop. Poop leaking out the sides of his panties and down his legs. Oh, my GOD, it was horrible. Seriously, I'm gagging now at the recollection of it. I wanted to kill him, I'm so sick of this stupid potty training crap. And then I thought how much Jack's mom would give to have just one more day with him.

And then I felt like the biggest asshole alive.

Oh, and just now as I'm typing up the highlights my day for your amusement, Tito has peed somewhere. He's yelling at me now to get him some new panties. It never ends.

Mommeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I wet!!!

SUFFER.

Mommeeeeeeee??? You deaf????? (took me a second to figure out that was what he was saying)

I wish.


Cuz then I probably wouldn't have subjected myself to Part I of the Celebrity Duets Grand Finale. Part II is tonight - set your Tivo!

Oh, and my favorite lines from Earl and Office were:

"I could float your whole family across a muddy river on these puppies!" and "DWIGHT GOT A HOOKER!" And did you hear Joy refer to Girl Scouts as "flat-chested pygmy sluts"?!?!?!

See, I started out with a shitty day, and I still managed to get TV-Talk Friday in! I think I'm going to keep Thursdays themeless. I'll call them Themeless Thursdays, and it'll be like a catch-all, Potpourri category (although today I think it could be called POO-pourri). That's when I'll just talk about whatever I want. Won't that be interesting?

No, probably not.

8 comments:

Cheesy Knit Wit said...

What a horrible day! I'm so sorry. He will get it eventually!

Love and Hugs to you!

Bezzie said...

Don't feel bad I know I've treated Chunky like I shouldn't these past few months when everything really starts to get to me.

I'm so bummed I missed Earl and The Office last night. I was too busy talking The Mad Scientist off a ledge. Oh well, that's what reruns are for.

OldLadyPenPal said...

Oh Jack. I don't know the story, and I don't know that I could stand it.

Here's something that worked for me- when Nolan peed somewhere other than the potty, I made him clean it up. And if he pooped in his undies, he had to dump the poop in the pot and then rinse the undies. Once he had to personally deal with the mess he made, they became faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar less frequent. And that way I didn't have to touch things I'd rather not touch.

Poops said...

Big hug from poops since it was a poopy kind of day...

You know what they say. Some days you're the windshield, and some days you're the bug.

I think you should take pictures of the Poopmeister with his poopy panties and haul them out when he's a teenager. "If you're not home before 10 I post these on the Internet." That ought to fix his wagon. Naturally, I anticipate that his wagon is going to need fixing at some point. (Just a guess here...)

SuzannaBanana said...

Aw, man! I'm almost crying just reading this. I remember reading about Jack. I think I'm gonna go call my mom and tell her I love her.

'Earl' was great last night. "I jump for Earl. I DON'T jump for Joy!"

I hope tomorrow's less poopy, figuratively and literally.

DomesticOverlord said...

Well you got me laughing so hard I started hiccuping. Only another mom who has potty trained a boy can understand the sheer horrifying annoyance of them just NOT DOING IT. Ugh. I was there, I feel your pain. I'll be back there soon with the girl this time. I hope that goes better.

Bob said...

I haven't left comments lately because I hate having to register for crap, but I finally gave in.
Anyway, I'm sorry you had such a rough day. I'm sure the potty training thing will get easier. I think kids have to be both physically ready and emotionally ready to do it, and Tito sounds like he's halfway there at least! I can tell you my former stepson didn't (daytime) potty train fully until after he was 4, and I think it had a lot to do with the way my ex and her parents pressured him (he would hide under the table to poop and I remember her literally dragging him out by his leg trying to get him to the potty in time, lol). I'm sure one day soon, Tito will just wake up and decide he's ready and not look back and you'll wonder why you were so stressed out.
As for the nighttime leaks, have you tried using diaper doublers (you can find them in most supermarkets and at Babies R Us)? They're like a big maxipad that goes in the diaper for extra absorbancy. My former stepson was a heavy bedwetter, and the only thing that worked most nights to keep him dry was putting him in a pampers cruiser with a diaper doubler). It didn't eliminate leaks every night, but it held up WAY better than using a pullup or even a goodnite, which seemed to always leak on him.

cpurl17 said...

Oh PK, I just want to give you a big hug. You make my day with your humor but today, I think I just want to send you a big hug.