Thursday, September 14, 2006

I've finally found my true calling!

Can I get an amen??

It's clearly my destiny to scan the internet for pictures of freaky people "wookin pa nub" in all the wrong places! Wow, and it only took me 30 years to figure out what I was meant to be when I grew up. Too bad it doesn't pay very well.

I've been so busy keeping tabs on the unsavory, I've forgotten to update you on several things. In fact, I've been so preoccupied by it, I missed the Big Bro finale (Mike Boogie was the ultimate winner, even though I still say he's a loser), and the premiere of Dancing With The Stars! I'm totally slacking on my Reality TV watching. Tonight is SURVIVOR and CELEBRITY DUETS!! And The Amazing Race starts on Sunday, I think. I'm SO psyched for that.

Last weekend I wowed the family once again with my genius garter-stitch squares! I love impressing non-knitters with the easiest possible knitted item I could muster. I made a small baby blanket from stash yarn and a baby bib from dishcloth cotton (Mason-Dixon Knitting). I didn't finish the baby kimono in time but I've got friends with babies coming so it'll go to someone.

Currently on the needles - a surprise for my favorite meteorologist, the suave and debonair Glenn Zimmerman. His birthday's tomorrow and it won't be done by then, but it'll get done eventually, and it'll be awesome. So what did I do for his birthday? I bought a Superman card, cut out a picture of Glenn's face from his station's website, glued it to Superman's body and put a W where the S is on his outfit. He is now WEATHERMAN. I thought it was kinda clever. I didn't think to take a picture of it, since I'm hoping he'll show it on the air and I'll be able to take a picture of that. Gosh, he's cute. Sigh.

We took the kids to the drive-in again, this time to see Barnyard and Talladega Nights. Peoplewatching wasn't as good as it usually is, but Beeb met a very nice boy from Belleville while we were there. His name was Dominic and he was also in fourth grade. She met him on the playground and they talked until the movie started. He seemed very sweet, but alas, it was not meant to be as he lives an hour away.

Beeb's having a bit of a hard time at school. Last year she had some trouble making new friends after her best friend Jack had died over the summer, but she met two nice little girls named Ashley and Edie. Even though Ashley and Edie were in a different class, Beebie became best friends with them. This year, Ashley and Edie are again together in a different class, and Beeb is trying to be friends with them still, but they appear to be eschewing her in favor of a girl named Miranda who is in Beeb's class. Miranda told Beeb that Edie said she didn't like Beeb anymore. Beeb went to talk to the school counselor, and the counselor called Miranda in to confront her about hurting Beeb's feelings.

Beeb asked Miranda, "Well, how would you feel if I told you that somebody you thought was your friend said that they didn't like you anymore?"

And Miranda's little bitch ass said, "I wouldn't get upset because I can ALWAYS make MORE friends." What a snot, right??!!?

Beeb called Edie yesterday to ask if she really told Miranda that she didn't like Beeb, and Edie denied it. So it'll be interesting to see what goes down on the playground today. The good news is that Beeb's invitation to Ashley's birthday party came, finally. She was really nervous that Ashley wasn't going to invite her. Of the three, I know Ashley and her family the best, and I can't imagine that she would be that mean to Beebie.

She's just getting into that dynamic where little girls are figuring out who their friends are and the Mean Girls are starting to emerge. I was so much like Beeb when I was little, I totally feel her pain and frustration. I don't know if I ever really got over being picked on by the Mean Girls back in the day.

Perhaps that's why I take such delight in pointing out these guys for your amusement. I feel like I'm at the lunchtable with the Cool Kids.

Man boobs. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Sexy.

He's either deep in thought or his shirt's buttoned up so high it's cutting off his circulation.

Oh my GOD! Billy Chenoweth!!

That's not bad lighting, gals. He's an ape. Personally, I wouldn't let him on my white comforter for fear he'd shed all over it.


Cheryl said...

Your Beebs is the same grade as my son. It's been an interesting year so far. Tonite is OPEN HOUSE at school, so we shall see how it goes.
I was the same way as a kid. I wasn't one of the mean girls, I was the picked upon girl.
These pictures are KILLING me.... Manboobs, Giraffe neck, Babyfat and Gorilla. #4 especially needs a good waxing --- Youch!!!!
Thanks for keeping me in stitches!!!

turtlegirl76 said...

I think Mr. Deep-in-thought is Mr. Greasy-combover's cousin. And OHMYGODITISBILLY!

4TH Grade is a tough year. I'm sure Beebs will overcome it though.

SiressYorkie said...

Poor Beebs. The roots of my mysogyny were firmly planted by the end of the 3rd grade. Still don't trust women. Little girls can be soooo bitchy.

I like how Bach #1 says he learnt to "work hard an smart" from his parents.

Bach #2 looks like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap (

Bac #4 (The Missing Link) lists himself as "Self-employed". What do you wanna bet he's a mimbo?

This is fun!


Cheryl said...

I forgot to mention "wookin pa nub", glory girl we do watch all the same shows don't we?? LOL!!!

Cheesy Knit Wit said...

I concur with turtlegirl about "Deep in thought" guy.

Do you really think gals date these guys? Stop it! I already know it is so. You seem them everywhere. Gahhhhh.....

Dan said...

This is going to be a tough grade for Beeb. I hope she doesn't get trampled by the wenches in training.

Also as a request for your male readers how about some loser chicks. I am sure all the losers are not just men.

OldLadyPenPal said...

you know, this batch isn't anywhere near as frightening! are you getting soft on us? (i'm sure these fellas have heard THAT phrase a time or two!)

chlo is in 4th grade. and she's also going through the girls vs. girls thing and it's sad. there's some little snot that i want to smack because she's wretched to chlo, non-stop. and my daughter's such a thin-skinned creature. bring beebie on down for a visit! what a grand idea!

Ducktastic said...

That last guy looks EXACTLY like my creepy harassing ex-boss. Ew ew EW. If he weren't in Texas, I would swear it was Creepy-Boss.