Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Thank you all for your concern.

My perfectly-coiffed crotch has fully recovered, thanks.

It's an icky, cold, rainy Tuesday at Chez Karma. The boys are watching Clifford. Pie is eating tacitos (dontcha love how kids who wake up at 5:45am and eat breakfast at 6am want lunch at 10am?), and Teeny is currently walking around in a quite rank Poopy Diaper. I can't imagine not wanting to have that taken care of right away, so I say "C'mere, T, let's get you a new dipe!"

In response, he squints his eyes, points angrily at me, sticks out his chin and says in a throaty whisper that sounds like the villain from a Cold-War Era Russian Spy Movie Thriller,

"Don't change me."

It's a lot funnier than I can adequately describe. Think Boris Badinov meets Alan Rickman from Die Hard. Yippie Kye Yay.

Last night, we finished watching the Final Season of Six Feet Under. I sobbed straight through the last 3 episodes. Man, what a great show. Now what am I gonna watch? We have season finales coming up on all of my shows, then we have summer, and Summer means Big Brother! If I were going to go on a reality show, that's the one I'd go on. I think I would really suck at building a shelter (Survivor), I hate eating icky things (Fear Factor), I would be so nervous in Trump's boardroom I'd throw up (Apprentice), and let's just say I'm not 5'11" and 102 pounds (Top Model).

Big Brother's set at my level of drama. And think about it, what's the worst part - you're stuck in a really nice house with a buncha hot college guys and their luscious six-packs and your big punishment is Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches for a week? Puh-LEEZ. That's the worst thing they could think of? Perhaps I should just submit my Extended Power Outage Experience as my application. Living in a house full of hotties would be a freakin cake walk. What's holding me back, you ask, other than the fact that I'm afraid I'd tell Julie Chen to eat a sandwich so her bones don't stick out of her canary yellow fringed tank tops?

Wanna borrow my kids for the summer?

Just think - you wouldn't have to change any poopy diapers!

10 comments:

Joe said...

I have to admit that your opening sentence to this post was the most interesting introduction to a blog that I've ever experienced.

Cute story about your son, too. :-)

Bezzie said...

I hate it when they go thru that whole "I like wallowing in my own crap thank you very much" phase. Blech.....!!!!!

Elspeth said...

I love how they ended Six Feet Under, showing how everyone lived and died. I thought it was really inventive.

Speaking of tall, skinny people, I was just at the mall and advertising on the outside of Victoria's Secret are model-sized (5'11", buff and skinny) mannequins. It's especially disgusting when you realize the mall is situated in an area where the vast majority of the women are about 4'11". Some are that skinny, I guess ...

amylovie said...

A fellow Big Brother watcher! It is the only good thing on during the summer.

Amy

jackt said...

Just your luck when you sign onto Big Brother they'll spice it up by introducing the Fear Factor crossover episode where they make you eat peanut butter and beetle slime sandwiches.

Penny Karma said...

The sad part is that I'd be screwed if they wanted me to eat a pickle to stay in the game.

Leesa said...

Also loved the first line: My perfectly-coiffed crotch has fully recovered, thanks.

I guess I followed Joe over from his blog. And although I don't have any children, I am amazed that their little noses don't work better. Some look like they have short tails in their diapers!

turtlegirl76 said...

I love me some Big Brother. I'm actually considering paying for the feeds this year. I miss the days when it was free. I had it on all the time. Of course, back then, my computer was in the middle of the apartment and I could see/hear it from everywhere. I wonder what this year's twist will be.

Jennifer said...

I had to chuckle at the *don't change me*. I can hear it. My daughter just flat runs away from me.

Stacie said...

I got kids that don't want out of poopy diapers too! WTF? Straight up lie and say they are not poopy!
I love Project Runway....