Thursday, May 11, 2006

Glad I can amuse you, the general pubic, with my Wacky Beaver Antics.

Cuz hey, I'm here for YOU.

(And yes, it says General Pubic. Didja catch that?)

My Burning Beaver Debacle of last week has earned me a new Moniker on the Knitty(tm)boards. For the next three months, I shall be known as penny_karma, Behold My Beaver! It's a fundraising effort introduced by Uberfab Zib, and for a donation to Breast Cancer Research, you can choose a "title" for yourself on the message board. PrettyByDesign offered to pay for someone to assume the title of Sheared Beaver, and I just figured that In Light of Recent Events in my Private(s) Life, maybe Seared Beaver would be more accurate. But the thought of the smell of that, I just... never mind. We went with Behold My Beaver, an incredibly witty combination of my blog title and my Most Unfortunate Incident.

In un-funny news, we survived the Tribute to Jack last night. We sat right behind his parents. His dad had a little pack of Kleenex under his chair. I got a bit choked up when Nat said her lines, but I somehow managed to keep it together. I think it all just went so fast that nobody really had time to cry. Plus, the sheer comedic value of the Variety Show Acts themselves helped. Just to give you an idea, here's what the Music Teacher was wearing:

Notice how easily an ensemble reflecting the theme of "Western Roundup" can turn into "Brokeback Mountain, the Musical".

My niece, Aldigirl, performed a jazz dance rendition which channelled Jon-Benet. Mrs. Aldi places great emphasis on the fact that Aldigirl's been dancing since she could walk. Aldigirl has also taken baton-twirling classes for the last few years. I get giddy whenever I imagine her ten years from now in a job interview. The interviewer asks Aldigirl to describe her Job-Related Skills, and, unable to think of any, Aldigirl whips a baton out of her Hot Pink faux-leather briefcase, jumps on the interviewer's desk, and after a few shuffle-hop-steps, tosses the baton in the air, slides into the splits and triumphantly catches the baton in her teeth.

Aldigirl takes ballet, my Beebie takes Karate. Beeb got her Blue Belt this week. My kid can kid your kid's butt, Mrs. Aldi. Unless it's a Pole Dancer Audition. That's all yours, honey.


Bezzie said...

Ha ha! That visual is priceless! Does Aldigirl have the blonde ringlets like Jon-Benet too? I just can't picture the future interview/dance routine without them.

Anonymous said...

Careful, pretty girls tend to store poisonous darts in their batons so that they can fight to keep the other girls in their place. They like to maintain the Viscious Social Order.

Of course, Beebs will be the poor manager who's trying to hire Aldigirl since she'll be so smart and capable they'll hire her out of highschool.


Pyewacket said...

Ballet suuuuuuuxxx! I feel very strongly about this.

Martial arts are a much better choice.

I bow to your Beaver!

turtlegirl76 said...

Heh, I love the visual of a JonBenet-type dancing on a desk catching a baton in her teeth.

jackt said...

This whole beaver bit is hilarious. I was laughing out loud as I was reading about the seared beaver and everyone at the office thought I was crazy. Sounds like a dish at some wacky deep end gourmet place.

Seared Beaver Drizzled with a Hairspray Reduction a l'Orange. :)