Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Random Thoughts, Volume XIV

I'm sick. Which, when you're a mom, means absolutely nothing.

R has been sick for the last week. I finally made him go to the doctor to get checked out (against his will), and it turns out that he has a sinus infection. Along a lovely phlegmy cough that keeps both of us up all night. Several times this week I've woken up to the sound of Machine Guns from the Godfather Xbox game. Grrrrr. Hun, if you can't sleep, get up and do a load of laundry or something.

Speaking of laundry, after 5 days of no electricity, we had QUITE a pile on the basement floor. Then, more rain came and the basement leaked and the bottom layer of clothes got wet. Great. So I busted ass to get as much of it done as I could, and somehow a lipstick snuck in there, highlighting several items with Sugared Bronze. Oh, I was pissed.

Which reminds me of a story - one year on New Year's Eve, I was supposed to go to this Disco Ball New Year's Eve Party thing with my then-boyfriend Reek. I did laundry that afternoon, and a lipstick was in my pocket, ruining all my nice work clothes. I was beside myself crying. Reek couldn't understand why I was so upset. HELLO - I wrecked all my clothes AND a perfectly good lipstick! He went to the party without me, and I spent New Year's Eve in a LAUNDROMAT.

You know how there are some people who just don't understand that other people have feelings, even though they themselves may not? That's Reek. The story of Reek is another saga in my life that I'll fill you all in on some other time. Synopsis - I dated him for five years, and we broke up right after the Disco Ball Disaster. Three months later I met R.

I ache all over. My throat hurts, my ears itch, my nose is dripping constantly, and my voice isn't the Sexy Demi Moore/Kathleen Turner voice, it's the Harvey Firestein voice. OY!

Beebie's grounded this week because she lied all last week about having her homework done when it wasn't. Why does she think I'm not gonna find out?

Today I'm taking Pie to a research study that requires him to try to light a cigarette lighter. Apparently cigarette lighter manufacturers have safety standards that require them to test their lighters to see if the Average Kid can work them. The lighter won't actually light, of course, it beeps or a light goes off or something to indicate that the kid figured it out. Then they pay me $20 for letting them use my kid as a guinea pig.

Last week I made $125 for tasting different Chicken Broths. I'd probably eat a bug for $125.

Thought - If the Lighter Manufacturers REALLY were interested in safety, wouldn't they just QUIT MAKING CIGARETTE LIGHTERS? Sorry, I kinda hate cigarettes. Not necessarily smokers, just cigarettes.

Lemme think, what else can I tell you... with the exception of my Yarn Barn and Stonehill Spinners purchases, I have bought NO yarn during Lent. That's why I think I can handle Rebekah's Don't Buy Yarn challenge.


Lent ends Sunday, and we're going out to my in-laws for Easter. One of these days I'll talk a little more about the in-laws, but for now, let me just say that spending the day with the in-laws is just about the most stressful thing I can think of.

You never really know which rules are going to apply, whether it's "How can you let your children act like THAT???!!??? Haven't you taught them any manners??" or "Oh, they're just kids, you're being WAY too hard on them". Either way, the message is YOU SUCK AS A PARENT. I feel like that all the time anyway, without any reinforcement, thank you very much.

Fox2 News has a brand new set and new graphics, including the little On-Air Personalities Intro with close-ups of a coyly-smiling Glenn Zimmerman mouthing Intimate Weather Terminology to someone off-camera (I pretend it's me). Glenn has boyish dimples than make me sigh, and in Hi-Def... oh, girl.

I got a little postcard in the mail from Martha Stewart Kids magazine informing me that there is no more Martha Stewart Kids magazine. I'm so sad! I loved the projects in there! So now they're replacing my Kids subscription with a subscription to Everyday Foods. I'll let you know what I think of it. Ha! Don't I always?

I need a Kleenex. Sniff.

And lastly, I just got this funeral notice emailed to me by the Very Worthy Wife of my good friend Yemen, whom I've known for more than 30 years (since I was 4 and he was 3):

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, It is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Oh, come on. You know it's funny.

Sometimes I wonder, though.
"What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?"


Stacie said...

man, we've had it all here at Chez Pink, and I think we may be grem free at this very moment. No fun being a sick mama, no rest for the weary! Feel better... and you shake it all about...do the hokey...

Bezzie said...

Gah, I hope you feel better soon, or at least start sounding like sexy Demi/Kathleen Turner!

Don't you love using children as guinea pigs? My Chunky earned me a $100 gift certificate at Walmart for one study.

And I feel your lipstick pain. I did the same but with a dark chocolate Hershey Kiss--in a load of whites. I got a lot of "But mommy, I swear I didn't poop my pants!" after the kid saw his underwear.

Anonymous said...

I'm sick. Which, when you're a mom, means absolutely nothing.

Ain't that the crappy truth!

Hope you feel better soon.

PS - thanks for the offer of the penpal for Sandra. Her reading's not quite strong enough to throw her into the Ocean of Correspondence quite yet.

DomesticOverlord said...

Hey, those cheap cigarette lighters are used for more than cigarettes, I use them to light candles, the barbecue, the pilot light, pictures of me I don't like, kitchen fires when I don't feel like cooking dinner... I'm just saying, they're not exclusively used for ciggies. And I know there are matches but I hate matches because the strike strip always wears out before the matches run out. And I know they have tose fancy camp lighters with the long shaft and the trigger so you don't burn yourself while you're doing all the stuff I just mentioned but those are expensive (comparatively) and I need some danger in my life! Besides, if I don't get a little burned lighting that kitchen fire, they're going to think I lit that kichen fire and we can't have that!

StillWater said...

Wow! Semi permanent make up has alot of uses! But did you know that a woman consumes over 4 to 9 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime! Here is the link that I found that shows all of the research: