Monday, February 09, 2009

Still More Facebook Fun

R's on Facebook now too.

Interesting Facebook reunions include:

My sixth grade teacher, who posted some embarrassing pictures which I will NOT share here. The sorority one was funny and I figured I'd be tough to find behind all the Aqua Net. This one only has like ten kids in it. You'd know me. Forget it, bitches.

My roommate from freshman year at college, my roommate from sophomore year, two of my roommates from junior year and one from senior year.

A boy I had a crush on for years and always wondered about.

The guy with whom I kinda cheated on one of my old boyfriends.

Two of the few friends I had in San Antonio. One's now in Chicago and the other's in Australia. I had forgotten how much I missed them.

Beeb's Godmother, who knew me when I met R and was in my wedding. She was the first person I called when I found out I was having Beeb. I think I even told her before I told R.

My very first "real" boyfriend (whom I'll call Blaine), who not only broke my heart, but, more importantly, set a pathetically low standard for every relationship I've had since, besides R and a couple of rare exceptions. Blaine has since very humbly apologized to me, I've forgiven him and it's fine now, but seriously, that dude messed me up pretty bad, and seeing him on there kinda stirred some major shit up in my head.

Suffice it to say, my abandonment issues are rooted in Wichita with Blaine. People who say they love you could, at any moment, without warning, decide that (through no fault of your own) they just don't anymore, and suddenly treat you like they never loved you at all.

This is why I need so much reassurance in relationships, particularly if your actions (intentionally or not) might have spoken to me in a way that makes me wonder if you care. Or maybe you didn't even do anything. It doesn't really matter; sometimes I react to things that aren't really happening. I might need you to occasionally remind me that we're ok. Does that make me high-maintenance? It's not like I want you to buy me shit or anything. Just words, really. That's all I want.

You love me? Ya sure? Cuz I'm just gonna warn you, I do stupid shit all the time and I'm not always fun to be around and I've been known to freak out about nothing and sometimes I'm not very lovable. For example, would you still love me if I kicked you in the shins like this over and over?

You would? Really? Wow, dude. You're fuckin crazy. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.

I shouldn't require such reassurance, and I certainly don't want to, but I just do. That's who This Girl is. Some people can deal with it and some people would prefer not to, but those who can are rewarded with the Very Best of Me. I like to believe it's worth the effort, but I can't personally guarantee that. It's not like I can give you your investment back or anything. Maybe I give you store credit, though. Or a lighter sentence considering time served.

Blaine is also why I feel like I'm constantly competing. There's always someone better than you out there, just waiting for your boyfriend to meet her. I was a virgin and wanted to remain one. Blaine dumped me for a girl who was a total slut. Guess how I competed with her.

What a bizarre segue into my next story... Free Grand Slam Day.

R and I took Tito to the Denny's in Fenton (stellar people-watching) after the other two kids left for school. We got there at about 9, waited about 40 minutes to be seated, and got a table right by the front door. The door opened every 30 seconds and it was 11 degrees outside, so we had to eat with our coats on. Tito was very happy with his pancakes, but his coat got a bit sticky.

It was so crowded, this woman in the grey coat sat on my head. Literally. It surprised me more than it hurt. She was very sorry. I thought it was hilarious.

But no big deal, I was just happy we didn't run into The World's Biggest Cheapasses - The Aldis - there. They probably camped out the night before.

Oh, get this - they're getting a puppy named...



That's Shon-TALL.

I don't know whether to laugh or puke.

We figure they got a new puppy because they're going to have to put their older dog Maggie down and want to soften the blow. When they put their greyhound Bailey down, they told Aldigirl that Bailey went to live on a farm. I'm pretty sure Aldigirl still believes it. She's 11.


Kashmir Knitter said...

Hey, when we moved and couldn't take our cat with serious incontinence issues it had to be put down and I told my son that it moved in with it's parents. It probably did. That was four years ago and he still thinks that Tia is out there somewhere living it up with her parents. I don't feel bad about it at all. If he's anything like my sister, he'll never think about it enough to realize it's a lie.

Kev said...

To all the "Blaines" out there - Thanks for fucking it up for the rest of us.

Not just with Penny Karma, but with women all over the world.

I cringe - yes, physically cringe - when I hear of a woman who doesn't feel like she deserves to have her needs met, doesn't deserve to be treated like the beautiful, charming, intelligent, caring person that she is, because some asshole told her she didn't deserve it.

Speed Racer

turtlegirl76 said...

Ha! Chantal is my sister's name. Spelling and everything. It's pronounced Shan-tell though. =P

Penny Karma said...

It's a pretty name, but Chantal's not a Dog name, to me.

"Chantal's digging in the trash!" "Chantal's choking on a chicken bone!" or "Chantal's eating her own poop again!" Ya know? It's just not sitting right with me.

I can maybe understand Chantal maybe for a French Poodle, but this is a Chocolate Lab.

And Speed, thank you for your sweet words. I appreciate you and your willingness to deal with all of me. I'm glad you don't fade into the background until I'm fun again.

Kashmir Knitter said...

I think dogs with people names are funny (sometimes). Like a dog named Steve, that's funny. I used to know someone who had a dog named Bruce Johnson (her last name wasn't Johnson, the dog's was), that always was pretty funny, especially at the park. When I get out of this apartment and we can get dogs (I like to have two at a time- HA! That's what she said!-Ahem, sorry) I plan on naming them either Briscoe and Green or Apollo and Starbuck. Because I'm a nerd and I like tv.

Penny Karma said...

My friend's gay redneck brother has a dog named Julie. Someone I met once, when I introduced myself, told me that Sarah was her dog's name.

Kev said...

I know of a dog named Keyser Soze, and one named Obama.

2 of our cats are Ron & Hermione.

And PK, It is ALL of you that makes you who you are, not just the "fun" parts.

Speed Racer

Penny Karma said...

Well, ya know...

I do have some really fun parts.

Kev said...

in regards to your "fun parts," I almost said "I'm not going to touch that..." but then I realized how bad that sounded, so I decided not to say it. See - I do have a filter :)

Speed Racer

Eric said...

Keyser Soze is a cat name, not a dog name! You know because cat's are all evil and mysterious and otherwise Kevin Spacey-like.

Ferris Family said...

Chantel... Wow.
It's not as bad as the family I met from AL, they named their girls, Chardanay and Chablis (Yep, the wines!)

Kev said...


As the staff of 4 cats, I kinda have to agree with you.

Speed Racer

SiressYorkie said...

Dog names are like kid names: it has to be something you can shout across a large space clearly and without error. And in a way so that the creature and those surrounding it will respect you.

That's why we chose the name we did for Max..."MAX! Schnell! DON'T GO THERE! STOP!". That sort of thing. A name like Chantal just can't pull it off.

Penny Karma said...

At least with Chanel you could pronounce it like Schnell.

That's kinda badass, like Danger is my Middle Name.

Cary said...

Any guy named Blaine is lucky to get laid at all, so I understand why he might've jumped at the chance. Yeah, ok, not his real name, I know, but work with me.

And what's wrong with Chantal? That's my middle name.

Kev said...

I thought your middle name was BadCakes?

Shows what I know.

Speed Racer

Rip said...

The whole name thing reminds me of a totally true story.

My son, Skater, went to high school with a girl who spelled her name Le-a. Freshman year, the teachers, used to seeing odd looking names, I suppose, pronounced it "Lee-ah", as in the common spelling of Leah. Anyway, along comes the parent teacher conferences. The parents are sitting in the classroom, hearing how the teachers think that Leah is doing well, Leah is a fine student, etc., and the parents stop the teacher and ask "Who are you talking about?" And the teachers say, "your daughter, Le-a". To which the parents reply "It's Le-DASH-a."

Penny Karma said...

My beloved Skater told me that story when I was driving him to class once.

Then I fondled his six-pack. :)