Am I An Anti-Dentite?

I like my dentist. She's a nice person. She's a mom. She has great stories, and she's really funny.

I just don't especially like it when she sticks needles and drills in my face. Or when she me to lay off the caramels.

I've said this a million times. I'd prefer a trip to the gynocologist over a trip to the dentist ANY day. Here's why. Statistically speaking, I figure there's a far greater chance that I'm going to get bad news at the dentist than at the gyno. Bad news on a much smaller scale - not saying a root canal is a traumatic as a colposcopy (look it up, gentlemen), but they're not entirely dissimilar - you get what I'm saying, don't you? I'm more likely to be called out on what the dental profession would consider risky behavior (such as my relationship with Chocolate Reisens) than any risky behavior the gyno would scold me for (such as having sex with strangers).

When I go to the gyno, I feel like I don't have a whole lot to worry about. I don't fear STD's, for example. I know the sexual history of everyone I'm sleeping with (read: R). I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have any major bombs dropped on me when I go in to get my cobwebs cleared out. Well, there was that one time when the nurse told me "I'd say you're about five months along!" when I had gone in thinking I had cancer, but I doubt that's going to happen to me twice.

Basically, when something's up with yer cooter, you might at least have an inkling, right? Itchy rash, oozing pustules; there are clues.

NOTE: I'm in no way saying you can (or should) skip your annual Spread N' Scrape unless you're experiencing painful urination. Of course there things like cervical and ovarian cancers and other stuff that don't have obvious symptoms, and you should definitely get yourself checked out. I'm not making light of it in any way, so don't get your speculum in a knot. I'm even saying I PREFER the gyno, personally.

At the dentist's office, you don't always know when you have the beginnings of something that's going to suck. I've come in for a routine cleaning and gone home with four fillings I had no idea I needed. I HATE that. And you might go in thinking that you floss your gums deep enough, but you go home with a WHOLE new appreciation for just exactly how far down that floss can go. Yuck.

Sometime last Sunday night, part of my back tooth broke off. I never even felt it. I must have swallowed my filling and half of my tooth. It feels sooo weird, running my tongue over it. So today I'm getting it fixed. Wish me luck.

Yesterday the Apes finally met one of my oldest (in terms of time, not age) friends, T. T's a stud. I met T around the same time that I met Shatner, actually, and in the same place - the library. I know I've written about T before. He's a class act.

And guess where we went? GRANT'S FARM!!! Where the beer is cold and free.




And the fashion statements are unforgettable.