Saturday, April 21, 2007

*Soundtrack of my Life*

I've seen this on other blogs and I finally found my missing MP3 player so I can do it too.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

1. Open your mp3 library
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.
7. Don’t skip songs.

My Movie:
1. Opening credits: That I Would Be Good by Alanis Morrissette
2. Waking up: Uncle F*cker by South Park Soundtrack
3. First day of school: I Want You Back by Jackson Five
4. Fight song: Big Ball's In Cowtown by Asleep At The Wheel
5. Breaking up: Today by Smashing Pumpkins
6. Happiness: Hard To Handle by Black Crowes
7. Life’s okay: I See Ya Baby (Shakin' That Ass) by Groove Armada
8. Mental breakdown: Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding
9. Driving: Hot In Herr by Nelly
10. Flashback: Yellow by Coldplay
11. Getting back together: Smooth by Santana
12. Wedding song: Leaving Las Vegas by Sheryl Crow
13. Birth of first child: Mother Popcorn by James Brown
14. Final battle scene: Loser by Beck
15. Death scene: Hair by Cowsills
16. Funeral song: Da Da Da by Trio
17. End credits: Mama Said Knock You Out! by LL Cool J (I swear it was random!!!)

I was very pleased with my soundtrack. Now I'm gonna have to go burn this CD... and write a screenplay to go along with it.

As the film opens, I'm hopeful that I would be good, but when I wake up to Terrence and Phillip, I can already see that the first day of school isn't going to go well. I see the guy that I met at the LL Cool J concert over the summer and we get into a fight because he met a new girl and I want him back. So when I remind him of how much I enjoyed acquainting myself with his Big Balls, he tells me I'm a skank and he never wants to talk to me again. After I smash a few pumpkins in angst, I realize that this is a turning point in my life...suddenly Today's the greatest day I've ever known. I get a complete makeover and find my inner badass, who is fiesty and hard to handle. I lose some weight and as I shake my firmly-toned ass in the mirror, I decide that life's really okay.

And then, I see my summer crush and his new girlfriend at a bookstore. They're reading the Kama Sutra while I'm reading a Low Fat Slow Cooker Cookbook which suggests that I Try a Little Tenderness. And as he and I make eye contact, I start to cry and run out of the store. I get in my car (the A/C's broken, so it's hot in therr), and I start to have sweet romantic flashbacks of hanging out in the yellow sun with the summer crush guy. After driving around for hours, I come home to find a rose, a card and a Santana CD on my doorstep. It's from Summer Crush Guy. Damn, he's so smooth. He's decided I'm the only girl for him and he wants to marry me. Like, tomorrow. Inside the card is an airplane ticket and a note. The flight leaves in an hour. I don't need to bring anything but the clothes on my back, just meet him in Vegas, and then we'll leave together as husband and wife.

Nine months to the day later, out pops our first born child - James. I'm not sure what the Final Battle scene entails, but somehow I lose it (Duh, I'm a Loser, baby, so why don't ya kill me?) and die by being strangled to death by my own Hair, just as my son is speaking his first words, Da Da Da.

And as the credits roll, my husband is telling our son about how he and I met at the LL Cool J concert.

The theatergoers leave in tears.
There's early buzz of Oscar Nominations.

And the title of the film?
MP3 Shuffle.


Bezzie said...

And I didn't even have time to pop the popcorn before I read that!

SiressYorkie said...

Hrm...I'd of thought your end credits would be "Crazy Train"...

Kevin said...

Sorry, but I just picture a funeral where everyone sits around bobbing their head to "Da da da", a la the VW commercial. (I think that was VW, wasn't it?)