Monday, April 23, 2007

The Best Things In Life Are Free!

So I know you're dying to hear about our Free Dinner, arentcha?

Well, Dinner at the Child Safety Fair was rather impressive! We were served samples of Pasta Con Broccoli, Breaded Artichoke Hearts, Outback Steakhouse Bloomin' Onion, Pasta wth Shrimp and Scallops in a White Wine Sauce, and sandwiches from The Honey Baked Ham Store. Oh, and snowcones. Plus, many of the booths had candy and swag out for the kids. We wound up with a pretty good haul. Here's what we came home with.



Yes, I thought the DNA kits were kinda creepy too. They're not the Who's Yer Daddy DNA kits, though, cuz we're doin ok on that one. They're so you can swab your kid's cheek and keep a sample of their DNA in the freezer, should you ever need it. Man, it's a fucked up world, ain't it?

The highlight of the evening for me was The Fire Safety House, which is kinda like a trailer made to look like a small house (living room, kitchen and upstairs bedroom) so that kids can identify potential fire hazards. The demonstration was led by Officer Hottie, and at one point his cell phone rang and guess what his ringtone was? Only my total favorite song.

Back In Black

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I won't lie to ya, I flirted a tad with Officer Hottie. In front of my husband. I couldn't help myself. (C'mon - UNIFORM!!) R caught me and asked me afterwards if Officer Hottie would be nearly as hot without the uniform.

ANSWER: Yes. But the uniform reeeeeeeeally enhanced his hotness.

I asked Officer Hottie if ambulances are equipped with car seats, in case I ever needed to call 911 for myself if I was unable to drive. To my surprise, he said that yes, there is a car seat installed, plus they have an additional inflatable car seat. I told him about the time I had to pack the kids up and drive myself to the ER with a kidney infection on my birthday. He also mentioned that in a situation like that the responding officer might ask a neighbor to watch the kids, or as a last resort, an officer would stay there at the house with the kids.

Ummm... I'm pretty sure my neighbors have heard me scream at my kids about 500 times over the last 3 years. And I'll take my chances dragging the Apes to the ER before I'll let the 5-0 in this house, thankyaverymuch. But there y'all go - I obtained some potentially useful information for you. Just for y'all's edification.

All in all, I would highly recommend the Child Safety Fair as some high-quality free family entertainment. Here are some photos.

Here's Tito getting his fingerprints.




And there was a Petting Zoo! Who doesn't love a Petting Zoo?





The boys and I also went last week to Opening Day at Grants Farm. We got there right before it closed, and R and I each grabbed an Ape Boy and sprinted from the tram through the animal area ("Oh, look, guys - wave to the kangaroo!) to the beer window. Here's me enjoying my first free beer of the season.




And here's me, four days later, for my second free beer of the season. They haven't even been open a week and we've been twice. Damn straight.




Moving on, I agreed to participate in an interesting blog game with Sillyrabbit of the Knittyboards. The rules are as follows:

Want to play? Here’s the scoop:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.



So, here are the questions posed to me by Sillyrabbit:

1. If you could go back in time and change one decision that you've made, what would it be?

I wish I could take back every Oreo I've ever eaten, since they probably make up about 80% of the composition of my fat ass.


2. What one thing would you refuse to buy from a dollar store, no matter how great a deal it was?

Condoms.


3. If you could have share a meal with anyone in the world, who would it be?

Tina Fey. She's cool and funny and down-to-earth, and she's a new mom, so we can talk about poop stories. Plus, she's really skinny, so she probably doesn't eat much. Maybe she'll give me some of her fries.


4. On what reality TV show would you most like to participate?

Easy - Big Brother. Because you can be surrounded by hot guys in swimsuits.


5. What one thing would you make illegal?

Stupidity. And bad yarn.


Let me know if you'd like to be interviewed by me. It might be fun.


There's some other stuff I should update you on.

Remember that job I was interviewing for? Well, I didn't get it. I'm bummed because I was hoping for some adult interaction and the extra cash, but it would have cut into my blogging time. So, it's fine. Whatever. Their loss.

Remember those jaggoffs who rent this house to us? We're still waiting to hear back from the owners if they'll agree to a six-month lease. So here's the email I sent Dingbat this morning (don't you love being Cc'ed on my emails?):

Following up - I think you spoke to R on the 10th regarding the possibility of a 6-month lease and you would need to run it by the homeowners. We've been offered a 6-month lease somewhere else but would prefer to stay here if the homeowners were agreeable to it. I just wanted to see if you'd heard anything from them yet so that we could plan accordingly. Two weeks have past and if they say no at this point it wouldn't really give us much time to move out.

And was I rude? No, I wasn't.

I'll keep you posted.


And remember how I was kinda hesitating about giving up my faboo manicures? The decision to rip off my fake nails was actually made for me. How convenient.



At least it didn't happen right after I'd had them done. And at least it didn't hurt when my pinky nail ripped off. But it did hurt when I ripped off the other nine myself. They look like shit.


Remember how I'm not buying yarn? I'm still doing really well on my yarn diet. My new favorite Yarn O' The Stash is Cascade Fixation. I made a couple of little projects yesterday that I'll show ya in the next couple of days. I think I might have designed something, but maybe not. I'm afraid to say I made up a pattern, because of OLPP's Fong Fallout, but maybe I'll do some research to see if what I made is truly original. And if not, well, who cares?

12 comments:

Amy said...

OK, I'll play--interview me!

OldLadyPenPal said...

Ok, y'all's edification.
I object to that ONLY when uttered by my former manager, who did not know then and I'm sure does not now know the meaning of the word edification. Anyone else but that woman can and should utter it whenever they feel like it. Just not her. Ever. I object to that.

I'm glad you and the kiddos had a grand old time. And if you want I should sick my voodoo action figure on rental asshats, you just let me know.

OldLadyPenPal said...

And yeah! The Fong Fallout!
Seriously. What do those people do when someone puts up a sock pattern? A scarf pattern? ACK, it's too much to contemplate. People need to lighten up.

Maybe me, too....

Bezzie said...

Ooo! I like that picture with Pie's hand hovering above the pygmy cloven hooved whateveranimal that is. But zoom in, that little girl hiding behind the calf is checking your boy out!!

cpurl17 said...

I'll play too! I'm desperate for something interesting to post about. OH wait. That would be posting about ME, which leads me back to boring. But I'll play anyway.

Can't wait to see your Fong knock off!

steph said...

Soo much to comment on! I'll restrain myself though ;o)

I just recently bought some Cascade Fixations, and I am knitting some socks out of them. I would love to see what you are working on.

Poops said...

I just wanted you to know that I'm still trying to knit a mullet. I haven't forgotten.

Interview me if you want. You seem to pull out the best answers from me. I wonder why that is?

Here's a question for you: at what age is it no longer cute to see your sons get fingerprinted?

Ed said...

So let me get this clear. You went to a child safety gig (something I wish they had over here), you got fed realy well, flirted outragously (while other half was in the area, cool) and walked out with a huge bag of swag, even if they did have, as you rightly called them, creepy DNA kits. sounded like a realy good day out.

Two free beers! You amature.

Elizabeth said...

mmm... men in uniform. My husbo works in law enforecement. Let's just say a shoulder holster is all the aphrodisiac I need.

ZantiMissKnit said...

I cannot believe you didn't sneak a picture of Officer Hottie!!!

I don't even KNOW you anymore!

Penny Karma said...

R had the camera.

I'll try harder next time.

Kevin said...

Feel free to interview me, but do you really have any questions left that I haven't already answered?