Wednesday, February 01, 2006

You Better Not Pout, I'm Tellin' You Why - Punxsutawney Phil is Comin' To Town!!!

I predict that by the year 2016, Groundhog Day card sales will eclipse Valentine's Day card sales. I'm on a mission to make Groundhog Day the gift-giving holiday that it fully deserves to be. Why? Because I like it when people buy me stuff. FYI, I have a Wish List or Two in the Side Bar under Linkage...

Now come on, if you know me at all, you know I like giving just as much as I like getting stuff. I even think I like giving more, because I always put a lot of thought and effort into a brilliant gift, and nine times out of ten the recipient tells me what a genius I am. And I love that. And the tenth time out of ten, that person is an ungrateful piece of crap and they're not getting another gift from me ever again.

Seriously, though, why make Groundhog Day a Major Commercial Holiday? I was inspired by Beloved (by me, anyway) Local Meteorologist Glenn Zimmerman, who was interviewed in the 1/29/06 St Louis Post Dispatch.

Talkin' groundhogs (but not too seriously) with Fox 2 meteorologist Glenn Zimmerman


PD: So, what's the accuracy rate of the average groundhog?

GZ: Your average groundhog? Not your Punxsutawney Phil type? Well, I'd guess somewhere around 50 percent.

PD: Kind of like tossing a coin then, huh?

GZ: Pretty much, yeah. I mean, they're way better forecasters than the muskrats. That's why they've been pushed into the spotlight.

PD: You have five kids. Do the Zimmermans wake up early and excited on Groundhog Day?

GZ: Well, we get up early to see what the groundhog left us for presents.

PD: Ever receive a Happy Groundhog Day card?

GZ: I've not seen one of those, no. Usually I just get hate mail.

PD: Do you remember if the groundhog saw its shadow last year?

GZ: (brief pause, then laughter) No, I really don't remember.

PD: Can you spell Punxsutawney?

GZ: P-u-n-x-e-t-a-w-n-e-y?

PD: I think you left out a "u" in there, and maybe something else.

GZ: (muffled sound of self-chastising and possible banging of fist on Weather Center desk)

PD: 216 years from now, Groundhog Day will be on 2/2/2222. Is the Fox 2 weather team planning something special? Does Dave Murray have something in the works?

GZ: Well, we've had meetings. There have been e-mails exchanged, and memos are flying. Nothing's been set yet ... but we're thinking about reuniting The Animals for a big, downtown rock concert.


I say, why not? The December Holidays are behind us, and for many, myself included, the Winter Blahs have settled in. Valentine's Day, a day that can be Rather Depressing to the Romantically Challenged, is two weeks away. What do we have better to do on February 2nd?

It must be the sweetest gig in the world to be The Groundhog. Think about it. You show up for work one day a year. Nobody really expects more than 50% accuracy from you, so if you totally blow the one thing you have to do on the one day you have to show up, it's no big deal. And lastly, you get to spend your days in a place called Gobbler's Knob. I just love saying Gobbler's Knob. Gobbler's Knob. There's a Top Ten List of Groundhog Pick-up Lines in there somewhere.

I think it's tragic that Groundhog Day got such a bad rap in the classic movie starring Bill Murray and Worst Actress Ever Nominee Andie MacDowell. Groundhog Day shouldn't be synonymous with repeating a Really Crappy Day over and over again. It should be a day of Hopeful Anticipation. And, if the Groundhog's prediction isn't the one you were hoping for, it is an opportunity to practice that all-important skill of Dealing with Disappointment.

So I created and printed a Groundhog Day Card expressing my Holiday Sentiment, and I hand-delivered it to the Fox2 station this morning. I took R with me, so I wouldn't look like a Zimmermaniacal stalker. Some may call it Obsession, I call it being a Very Thorough and Extremely Creative Fan.

To-MAY-to, to-MAH-to.

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