Monday, January 30, 2006

You Know Your Day is Off to a Craptacular Start When...

You're looking for your keys and you find that you washed and dried your jeans with a Werther's Chewy Caramel in the pocket. Damn.

The day hasn't gone too badly, really. It's still early, though.

The Pie has a nemesis at school named Andrew. I don't know what the nature of the animosity is, but this kid is just really snotty to Ry. He told Ry he couldn't come to his birthday party unless Ry got a haircut. To a kid, that's like the ultimate insult. When you're four years old and you really want to hurt somebody's feelings, You can't come to my birthday party is the absolute meanest thing you can say.

So naturally, when we were planning P's party, he said he didn't want to invite Andrew. I didn't blame him, but I told him that we were inviting the whole class, so Andrew would be invited. P said "But Mom, Andrew is mean!", and for some reason it entered my head to say "Well, buddy, sometimes when people are mean, it's really because they're sad." I don't know what made me say that. Then Ry said "Mom, I just remembered something we learned at school - we're supposed to love our enemies. So I guess we should invite him."

R intervened as only dads can. "Hey Ry, there's this phrase called 'Kill 'em with kindness'. That means be nice to people who are mean to you, and it will drive them crazy."

To which Ry said, "COOL!!!" That's my boy.

I love the whole concept of killing people with kindness. I think there's a Proverb about how "a kind word to an enemy is like hot coals on his head", or something like that. My Inner Bitch, however, acknowledges that sometimes it's a lot more fun to kill 'em with Fookery.

So anyway, today I dropped Ry off and Andrew got right up in Ry's face and said in a voice reminiscent of Francis Buxton from Pee Wee's Big Adventure, "Guess what?? I get to go to your birthday party." And my sweet little Pie said "Well, that's good!" It was a proud parental moment.

In other news, I'm taking two writing courses online through I'm determined to get paid for writing something - at least make back what I spent on the books for the class. If you need me to write something brilliant for you, please let me know. Scathing complaint letters and cleverly-worded hate mail are my specialty.

In other other news, I've contacted my SP6 downstream, and having perused her blog, I see that her knitting prowess by far exceeds mine. She is clearly Ubercool (since we have quite a few things in common), and I've gathered some goodies to mail her. I've also got some goodies gathered for my Cheapass SP, I can hardly wait to find out what incredibly lucky Knittyhead has me for an upstream.

I was just contacted by my SP6 upstream thusly:

"Ms. Penny Karma, paging a Ms. Penny Karma...

Your SP would like you to know she is strange, crass and will probably be sending you at least one thing which will make your nose wrinkle, your brow furrow and you to exclaim, "What the ... ?" in utter bewilderment.


P.S. Don't worry, it won't be dog turds....this time."

I love my SP already. That's my kinda humor, right there. BRING IT!

Lastly, I'm bidding on some eBay stuff and I'll be SO pissed if some stinky sniper gets in there at the last second. Oh, I hate those people.

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