Monday, July 17, 2006

The $60 Alternative to Kitty Litter; The SkyView DriveIn; and Uncle Earhair - The Weekend's Events

Saturday night we dropped my leaking-upwards, stanky car off at Tom the Mechanic's humble abode, as he had offered to check it out for considerably less than the Shop he works in would charge. I said cool, since he was the one who would be doing the work on it anyway, and this way I'd pay less and he'd make more off of the job. Win/win.

From there, we took the boys to see the Double Feature of Pirates of the Carribean and Cars at the Skyview Drive-In in Belleville, Illinois. The Skyview is so cool. First of all, you can't beat the price. An adult ticket is $8, and each adult can bring 2 kids for free. So all five of us could see two movies for $16. And the BEST part is, you can bring in your own food. Including alcoholic beverages. This unique set-up lends itself to some of the best people-watching you're gonna find ANYWHERE, which, for me, takes the sting out of the fact that we have to drive 45 minutes to get there.

The boys really dug the vintage drive-in old-school playground. The playground is an especially fun place to people-watch. R and I like to play "Guess Which Kids Go With Which Parents". Hooda thunk the little boy with the white-blonde hair (shaved almost to the scalp except for a curly little white-blonde tail in the back) went with the guy in the Lords Of Acid T-shirt who looked like George Costanza with a combover?

We had a little over an hour to kill before the movie started, so we walked to the Schnuck's Grocery Store just down the street and spent $25 on candy. Including Werther's Chewy Caramels. Then we went back to the car and set up our spot, and who is sitting next to us but George Costanza Lords of Acid guy and his freaky tail kid and several other people who appear to be a family unit of some kind.

One of the women in the group smoked the entire time (and I'm not going to complain because we're outside, but it did start to bug me after a while) and the worst was that they turned their FM radio (that patrons have to bring in order to hear the sound from the movie) ALL THE WAY UP and it sounded like it was between two stations so it was really scratchy and hard to understand. I probably missed about half the lines. I was so pissed.

Here's a pic R snapped at the drive-in. At first glance, you might think it was a pic of me knitting at the Drive-In. It's really a pic of the creepy family next to us. Behind me is the freaky blonde kid, the Marlboro Woman (in white - and yes, that's a Fanny Pack) and the George Costanza Lords of Acid guy beside her, in black. And, if you look reeeeeeeeally close, right behind the kid's butt you can see the radio that all but wrecked my evening.

Right before the movie started, Tom called to tell me that he fixed the leak in the car. He took out the thingie and the housing for the thingie and flushed and cleaned some other doohickey and plugged the leak from the outside with spray silicon or something. I mean, he explained it all to me, but when he goes into Mechanic Mode, all I hear is blah blah blah blah transmission brake shoes blah blaaaaaaah leaking fluid blah really dangerous blahblahblahblabbity two hundred dollars blah.

Dude, I trust you. Just tell me it's fixed. I don't care if you plugged the leak with a frickin wad of bubble gum. Anyway, he said he'd just charge us $60 for the labor. I nearly wept with joy. You know you have a great rapport with your mechanic when you can write "sexual favors" in the memo section of the check you give him.

Pie fell asleep about 20 minutes into the movie. T fell asleep about an hour later. We left before the second movie started. I've seen Cars already, and I actually kinda hated it, with the exception of the mildly-amusing Tractor Tipping scene.

Sunday morning R mowed the grass and got really sick from the heat. R is really sensitive to the heat and the sun. It's the red hair and fair skin. He felt so nauseous and icky that he told me to call Aunt Drama to let her know that we probably wouldn't be out there for the cookout that day. She said I could come by myself with the boys, but I really didn't feel like going, plus I was nervous that she'd ask me if I'd mailed my scratch-off ticket chain letters, so I told her that I felt like I should be home in case R needs me. Apparently, I worried her enough that she talked to R's mom, who called our house a few minutes later. Here's the half of the conversation to which I was privy:

I'm ok... yeah, I mowed the backyard... well, I thought it was early enough that it wouldn't be that hot... about two hours ago and... well, I just didn't know when else I was gonna do it, it's only going to be hotter the rest of the week... yes, I'm drinking water but I'm just kinda nauseous and... no, I don't need an IV... no... I just need to rest... I'm fine, really... I don't think we have any Gatorade in the house... yes... uh-huh... I'll tell her... ok, bye.

About an hour and a half later, we left for Aunt Drama's. Wouldn't want Mom to worry.

The afternoon was fairly uneventful, despite the FIL's presence. Aldigirl's offensively ill-fitting bikini provided some amusing cattiness fodder for R and me.

Mrs. Aldi has backfat. She Dunlaps in the BACK. In her day, girlfriend had a great bod. She was a physical education major. But her best days, as well as everything she's eaten in the past two years, are (ahem) BEHIND HER.

Ok, yeah, I would probably look hideous in a bikini too but here's the difference - I'D NEVER WEAR ONE. Maybe I'll knit Aldigirl and her mom matching one-piece swimsuits for Christmas. This pattern (click here) has a disturbingly appropriate title. Oh, and I did manage to put her on the spot for an RSVP commitment to Beeb's party. They're coming. And I'm bringing the camera. Just for you.

The highlight of the day was when I was fixing myself a barbecued pork steak sandwich and I was trying to get some Sweet Baby Ray's Barbecue Sauce out of an almost-empty bottle. Uncle Earhair saw me struggling, squeezing in vain, and said, "Here, gimme dat..."

He then proceeded to pop the plastic top (not the lid, the little thing that snaps on over the top of the squeezie-bottle to prevent you from pouring the whole bottle onto your sandwich at once) off the bottle with a knife, took the bottle to the sink, turned on the water, ran the bottle of barbecue sauce under the stream for a second or two, popped the lid back on, shook it up and handed it to me saying, "Here ya go, Sarah, try dat..."

At that point I didn't feel like I could really say "um, no thanks" so I put a little on my sammich - just enough to appear appreciative of Uncle Earhair's efforts - and left the kitchen, aghast.

Do NOT desecrate the barbecue sauce, Uncle Earhair.

Other random tidbits that have nothing to do with anything but I wanted to mention them anyway:

I'm currently knitting the Cascade Fixation Tank with's less-expensive version of Fixation. I don't do well with patterns that require a lot of counting and concentration since I'm always having to put the WIP down to unleash my wrath on one of the Apes and by the time I'm done layin' the smack down I've forgetten where I left off. So I know I've knitted when I should have purled multiple times and completely jacked up the uniformity of the stitches, but I figured that it wouldn't be visible when I have it on. Fixation is a nice, stretchy yarn, but I'm kinda skeptical that this thing is gonna fit me when it's done. Still, it will be my first finished wearable garment that isn't a scarf or a hat. And that's something.

This Weekend's Blockbuster Online Rentals were Hustle And Flow and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Both very good.

WHY didn't Kaysar put Will and Boogie up for eviction from the Big Brother house??? I LOVE Nakomis!

My new favorite tea is Rooibos Lemon Twist from Teavana. I spent about $50 at Teavana Friday night. Worth every penny.

I'm gonna miss Beebie tonight when I watch our two favorite shows - Hell's Kitchen and Treasure Hunters. Beeb likes it when I talk in a Chef Ramsay voice. YOU DONKEY!!

We also love America's Got Talent (although I think NBC's choices of Celebrity Judges are actually evidence to the contrary). I want that Harmonica Kid to win.


turtlegirl76 said...

Oh I almost forgot you were the one I could talk Big Brother with! Cool!

Kaysar, I dunno, he's smart, and I really hope this plan works out for him. And if you think about it, it just might. Get the people with the flying-under-the-radar plan out of the way, then you have the ruthless balls-to-the-wall players left that won't be stupid enough to leave the best players for the end. I think Will and Boogie are really more talk than action. Their cockiness will be their downfall. And soon.

Zonda said...

Oh wow, a drive-in movie theatre, they still exist! sigh! Interesting weekend girl! I love reading your posts, so informative and funny. I can just picture these people in my head..hehe, lucky me huh?

So, using the Esprit, I got a few to try socks with as it is a better deal and cooler colors! Good luck!

DomesticOverlord said...

Ah the drive in. Our drive in is only mere blocks from my house but we rarely go because it's SO ghetto. It'sone of those places that forces me to use the phrase, "If you ____ again, I WILL cut you!" It's like being trapped in The Outsiders but without the all-star cast.

Penny Karma said...

Speaking of The Outsiders' all-star cast, what's Ralph Macchio doing these days?

Maybe I should try that ultimatum on Uncle Earhair the next time he tries to fuck with Sweet Baby Ray.

Bezzie said...

Oh how much did I miss your blog?!

One of my favorite sports is white trash observation! (however I must tread lightly in this sport, I fear sometimes I'm only a shade above white trash status myself!)

Ok, now I must slip back into obscurity until I can surf at home. I'd hate to get fired for excessive beholding of brillance!

Penny Karma said...

Ya gotta have a little bit o' white trash in ya in order to fully appreciate it in others. Remind me to tell you about the day I figured out how white trash my family is.

Elizabeth said...

Wow, your fam should meet my fam... sounds like they may have a lot in common, not least in entertainment value ;-)

I think you should knit homegirl a bathing suit with short-row pouches on the back into which the backfat can nestle perfectly...

amylovie said...

Lovin' the BB Superstars. I was so glad to see Allison go.


Penny Karma said...

My favorite part of All-Stars so far was when Marcellas said that deciding whether to vote for Allison or Danielle was like choosing between gonhorrea and the clap. I nearly wet myself laughing.

And is it me, or has Erika had work done??

*** I should clarify that the side of my family that links me to Amylovie is NOT the white trash side!! I doubt anyone would have thought that, but I just thought I should clear that up. I'll give the lowdown on the Michigan side of my family sometime.