Thursday, April 16, 2009

I cracked. I'm not proud of myself.

Remember my great plan to use ONLY Netflix for my movie-viewing this month? I was doing great until yesterday. I was at Walgreens on what turned out to be a fruitless search for any remaining Cadbury Mini-Eggs so I don't have to wait until August for the Christmas ones to come out.

I went to the five different Walgreens, plus two grocery stores and a drugstore located within a 2-mile radius of my home, and had no luck. I had to settle for a bag of the individually-wrapped Cadbury Dairy Milk bites, which are good, but kinda disappointing because they lack that heavenly candy crunch found only in the Cadbury Mini-Egg. I did find a couple of funnies to share with you, though.

Sugar-Free Peeps. How is that even possible??? I was tempted to pick a couple up, but I couldn't bring myself to financially support this horrific crime against nature.

I sent this pic to the PKPTP (Penny Karma Picture Text Posse), and Turtlegirl theorized that Sugar-Free Peeps were like Soylent Green... made of PEEPle.

Oh, and then there was this.

We've been on food stamps before, years ago. I'm not making fun of it, but I did think this was kinda humorous.


Just in case a Walgreens store manager fears his customers might find it offputting to realize there are people living in their Wisteria Lane suburban neighborhood who receive public assistance.

So on my way back to the van, completely dejected, I walked past the RedBox box. There it was... DOUBT.

I've been dying to see Doubt. When is Philip Seymour Hoffman anything short of brilliant? He probably even takes Oscar-worthy dumps.

And after I saw a whole lot of Amy Adams in cute lingerie in Sunshine Cleaning Monday night, the idea of seeing her as a nun was just kinda intriguing. Throw in Meryl Streep as The Church Nazi... I couldn't keep myself away.

RedBox is AWESOME! Why did I never do it before? A dollar! PLUS, unlike with Blockbuster, you can return your movie to ANY RedBox! Ok, selection is sometimes limited, especially on the weekends, but for a dollar, who cares? I still have Rachel Getting Married sitting next to my TV, and I'll get to it, but the thought of waiting one more day to see Doubt was more than I could bear.

What an excellent movie! I loved how I found myself as conflicted as Sister James was, as pissed off as Father Flynn was, and as sure of my own opinion as Sister Aloysius was at the end of nearly every scene. I loved how the effect of gossip was illustrated. For as low-action as it was, the storyline still grabbed me emotionally and kept my attention throughout. I'm being intentionally vague so as not to give anything away to anyone who's planning to see it.

Oh, while I'm thinking about it, I should tell you what I thought of Slumdog Millionaire. I really enjoyed it. I thought that the multiple stories came together in a way that was really very cleverly done. I loved how the answers to the questions corresponded to various events in Jamal's life, and I thought about how much money he would give to have NOT known the answers to those questions.

To me, it was a very hopeful story about the many places fate takes us. Yes, people drift in and out of your life and sometimes you have to crawl through shit, but to me, there's a great comfort in knowing that the stories of our lives have already been written. I believe both in fate and in free will. Fate is the stuff that we don't have the ability to choose - who our parents are, for example. Would I have chosen to grow up a minister's daughter? Probably not, but would I want to grow up with different parents than the ones fate gave me? Not in a million years.

I also thought about what specific set of questions would pretty much guarantee me (and perhaps my faithful readers) the grand prize on Millionaire. I came up with a few questions I can answer based upon my own life experience:

FOR $200

How does one get A&D Ointment out of one's hair?

A. Peanut Butter
B. Toothpaste
C. Club Soda
D. Noxzema

FOR $1000

If your goldfish starts swimming upside down, what should you do?

A. Turn the tank upside down
B. Flush him, he's gone
C. Sprinkle salt in the tank
D. Feed him mushed up frozen peas

FOR $10000

What planet is Chewbacca from?

A. Tattooine
B. Coruscant
C. Endor
D. Kashyyk

FOR $250,000

Who won the Cy Young award in 1983?

A. Dwight Gooden
B. John Tudor
C. Joaquin Andujar
D. John Denny

I haven't told you guys how I know that one, I don't think.

FOR $1,000,000

Where did Jon Hamm, who plays the role of Don Draper on the AMC show Mad Men, attend college?

A. Harvard
B. Princeton
C. Yale
D. The University of Missouri

Hand over the fuckin check with my name on it, Meredith!

I'm so behind in my updates. I've been busy and stressed out and I haven't even written about Easter at Chez Inlaw. It was really pretty uneventful, apart from the fact that about 8 years after the worst Easter EVER (a story you should read if you haven't), I sat and drank Mimosas with FIL.

I also haven't written about Beebie's band playing the National Anthem at the baseball game last week. Now THAT, my friends, is a story. Stay tuned.

Today I was busy grocery shopping. Check out my cart.

That's donuts, beer, ice cream, meat and toilet paper. What else does a girl need?

Here's where I took the fam for dinner last week:

Mobil On The Run has a deal where if the Cardinals score six runs in a game (whether they win or lose), the next day you can get a fountain soda for 25 cents. They also have a deal where if the Blues win, you can get a hot dog for 50 cents. The BEST is a day like last Tuesday - when the planets align and the the Cardinals score 6 and the Blues win on the same day. The next day all five of us ate dinner for less than five dollars.

Anyway, I was at the grocery store filling my cart full of crappy junk food when I got a message from Trillian asking me if I was able to find the Cadbury Mini-Eggs.

No, I lamented. I'm sure my sadness was clear, even through text.

She said she was standing in front of a shelf full of them and asked me how many I wanted.

How many can you fit in your car??


SiressYorkie said...

Woooow..I'm thinking if you eat all that meat and doughnuts, then drink all that beer, you shall certain have need of all that loo roll.

Sooo...the cart sort of cancels itself out.

Whoaaa. I think I just crossed into some Heavy and Deep Thinking there...

Shoo, demons of Pensive Pondering and Careful Cogitation! Shoo, I say!

Word verification:

Is that not what Shakespeare said to Ann Hathaway on their wedding night? "I prithee, Ann...comith!"

ba dum DUM

turtlegirl76 said...

Mini eggs are the best!

Trillian42 said...

Heh. You think you are happy now? Just wait until that box gets there. Did I mention they were 75% off? :D

Bezzie said...

Every MOnday I've heard that Redbox comes out with a code you can use for a free movie. Google it. See if that's not just urban legend.

Pam freakin' rocks!

Kev said...

Netflix come in red envelopes, so maybe going to a Redbox isn't the end of the world...

Anonymous said...

I miss you. Anytime you want to move to Columbus, or some other random place we move to, you are more than welcome. I need more sarcasm, honesty and crazy in my life.


Cary said...

Sugar-free Peeps are like non-alcoholic beer: pointless.

I say this even though I despise Peeps, sugar-free or not.

word verification: SNIZAS

What Snoop Dogg uses to cut things. "I gotta cut up these fizzas with my new pair of snizas."

L Dawg said...

How is it that you and everyone you know is so damn witty? Please explain!!!! Maybe someday I can put in my own witticism...but this stuff is major league!