Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Just Who Is Penny Karma Anyway?

I have joined with several other Knittys (plus belovED) and will be participating in the webring called Blogstalking. Blogstalking with other knitters (and non-knitters) is one of the things I love most about blogging. And I probably wouldn't blog if I didn't knit (even though I don't usually blog about knitting), mainly because the knitters were the only ones to read it for a while, when I first came upon the Coffeeshop scene. So I guess it's one of the things I love most about the fact that I know how to knit, too.

Anyway, to explain Blogstalking for those who may be unfamiliar, each week there's a new assignment, and the idea is to post pics of whatever the assignment was, and then stalk other people's blogs to see what they did for the assignment. This week's challenge was a great way for the participants to introduce themselves: to create a post that answers the question, "WHO AM I?"

Well, if you read my blog with any regularity, you'd know this was a complex question for me to answer, especially in photos. I mean, I'm a wife, mom (which of course means nurse, chauffeur, referee, chef, etc.), daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, recovering caffeine addict, aspiring dominatrix, disastrous finanical-mismanager, insatiable flirt, anxiety-plagued insomniac, emotional overeater, evil genius, snarkmistress, and all-around badass.

Oh, and I knit, too. I've got a lot on my plate.

And three weeks from today, I'll be able to add HOMEOWNER to my list of titles. But only days ago I became... a van driver.

So just to be different, instead of showing you who I am, I thought it might be fun to document a few things that I am NOT.

Unlike OLPP, I am NOT a big fan of the ironing (Kathy, girl, I love ya like you can't believe, but that is SERIOUSLY fucked up). I don't know if R has seen me use an iron, like, ever. This one has been in my basement untouched for the last three years.

Yes, that is dust on my ironing board.

Additionally, I am NOT patient. But I do carry a lil project with me everywhere I go so I actually kinda look forward to situations where I have to wait. I also always have a camera with me, so I can capture little funnies when I see them. Such as...

Dontcha just love that Used Car Smell??

Here's me waiting for the paperwork to go through on the van.

I hate my chin. And my hair. And my presciption sunglasses.

I have some self-loathing issues. I attribute these issues to the fact that part of me will always be in Seventh Grade - my distorted body image, awkwardness, insecurity, longing for acceptance, and constant self-criticism are an ongoing presence in my life, and probably always will be. As a grown-up I'm able to play it off my social ineptitude as a Fuck The World attitude. And I can usually shut my inner seventh grader up with a cupcake or something.

It's kinda funny that I am a total perfectionist, yet I am NOT organized (I wish I were more organized, perhaps then I wouldn't be waiting for my duplicate car title to come in the mail... grrrrr). The one exception is my weekly dinner menu calendar.

Yes, Bezzie, that's a Cooter Rootin' Appointment on the 26th. Sign me up for KAYE!!

It's not a testiment to my organizational skills, it's really more a product of my frugality. I try to go grocery shopping as little as possible, and when I take the time to look in the fridge and the pantry and make note of all I have, I realize I can easily make it to the next paycheck without having to buy anything more than the staples of milk and bread.

Occasionally I do deviate from the menu, but generally, it helps me remember (usually) to thaw the meat the night before, and I don't forget about the meat in the fridge for so long it goes bad and gets wasted. I hate wasting food. Obviously, looking at my ass, it's clear that not a lot of food gets tossed out of Chez Karma.

See, there's my inner seventh grader again.
Shut up, Skank! Here, have a Twinkie...


Bezzie said...

Hot damn! And Saturday is burrito night! Guess what day was burrito night in my house growing up as a kid! You're raising those kids right! Congrats on the van and the house chickie!

Marg. said...

Oh, you van is MUCH cooler than mine. You need some NASA stickers for it, though. It looks like the space shuttle!

Also, you've reminded me that I need a wipe-off calendar and bulleting board. The space over my desk is really empty. :D

Sue, aka seiding said...

Not a lot of people can do what you just did: admit to the inner seventh grader. Mine comes back to me whenever I wear my coke-bottle glasses. You are brave and funny!

I have worn only t-shirts and sweaters for about three years now. I only use my ironing board to block small items of knitting. Life is too short to iron.

techygeekgirlknits said...

What a sexy van! Love it - it's so cool. (But if R drives it, you are married to a Mini Van Man too!)

SiressYorkie said...

WHAT? NO IRONING? I...erigag...effgisiss...*thunk*

Consider my gob thoroughly smacked. :)

Anywho, I don't think that pic of you is too bad except for the way your gob is hanging open, and I'm pretty sure I can see a tiny rivulet of drool dangling off your unplucked chin...

Congrats on the new Van! Do you like being higher up off the road? We have a mini mini van (everything's small here, doncha know) and I like being a bit higher up.

(...cooter rootin'...? I think I'll put that on the next invite to my party..."It's cooter rootin' fun!")

Jo said...

I wish I were more organized about my meal plans - I am afriad that between my schedule, DH's schedule, Willow's schedules we end up eating on the run a lot.

Robin said...

My procrastination runs deep-- I cannot even get around to planning dinners like you do, and thus end up at the grocery store about 5 times a week. It is a sickness, I tell ya!

By the way, one gets to proofread legal notices when one's sister marries the owner of a small newspaper company. Nepotism has been very very good to me.

sillyrabbit said...

I have a dinner calendar like that, except I do mine monthly, and include sides--one vegetable, one starch. I think it's an illness.

I love your new ride! You should get spinners.

turtlegirl76 said...

Look at how far you've come in a year though! One year ago there would have been something about Poo in that list and probably something involving hair spray and a vagina. What will next year bring?

Eryn said...

[sing-song] My inner-child's older than yours!

Seriously, I think mine is at that horrible fifteen/sixteen year age that should be throttled or sent to the moon. Cupcakes don't shut her up, she wants fifty bucks and the keys to the car!

Lauren said...

I really should take a page out of your book and plan dinners. Maybe I can get the boyfriend on board.

I think we all have an inner 7th grader.

cpurl17 said...

My inner 7th grader would love to hang out with your inner 7th grader.

ZantiMissKnit said...

I think the dust bunnies on the ironing board is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in the blogstalking world. I really thought it was dryer lint, and thought it was no big deal. But noooooo, it's dust bunnies. I thought dust bunnies only formed on the floor,under beds and other stationery objects. I didn't know they formed on top of things.

I love you.