Friday, November 21, 2008

A new, hopefully recurring, feature on Behold My Brilliance...

OVERHEARD AT WAL-MART.

I've decided to listen in on people's conversations at Wal-Mart. So be careful what you say out loud the next time you're there.


The scene:

I'm in the Boys clothing section, getting socks for Pie and Tito. And a man who looks like he could be Ron Jeremy's dad in a cowboy hat coughs loudly and says to the woman beside him,

HUSKEH? Damn, woman, yer boys ain't Huskeh. All four of 'em put together ain't one Huskeh. Ya got dem first two, Gage and Jesse, and they's real close together, too...

Shoot, y'all's satellite musta bin broke that year.


Laughs until he starts coughing again.


Curtain.

8 comments:

LilKnitter said...

Choice! Sounds like a cultured and gentlemanly sort of fellow. :)

Bezzie said...

It's like live Looking Pa Nub!

SiressYorkie said...

You should try playing Wal-Mart Bingo.

http://bitsandpieces.us/2008/10/29/wal-mart-bingo/

Gwon, you know you wanna.

And damn, I miss me some Wookin Pa Nub. Can't you do one, say, for special holidays? Or for each season?? that's how I came to know your blog, was the Wookin Pa Nub sections...

BTW, my word verification was "proot". I swear that's the sort of sound I hear my beloved making in the bathroom each morning...

Kashmir Knitter said...

I thought of you the other night as I watched the National City Police arrest a half naked guy who was trying to dance on a car that was roped off as a sweepstakes prize in the mall. I wished you were with me because your commentary would have been priceless. Sadly, I was so out of it, I didn't even get a picture. I'm a bad friend.

Poops said...

Sadly, you hear stuff like that at my Walmart too, but it lacks the twang.

The Yankee Swamp Trash dialect is so hard to duplicate in writing.

*sigh*

Shannon said...

Geez, and that was in STLCO, wasn't it. You may have to do "on locations" to FranklinCo or JeffCo, just for fun!! (Make sure it's on a Friday - it's payday)

Kevin C said...

Not to horn in on a great new theme, but can I add a "Thing I Overheard at Schnuck's (Supermarket)"?

"Excuse me, is all your beer cold? Do you have any warm beer?"

Elizabeth said...

Oh My Goodness! There is always some kind of ghetto fabulousity at the Wal-Mart. I'm thinkin' you'll be able to keep this feature going for a lonnnng time...