History Repeats Itself

Two days ago I was taking a well-deserved afternoon nap when Pie shook me awake.

"Mom! Mom!! Wake up!! Tito got in trouble on the bus again and he said he got written up by the bus driver and he has a note from the Mrs. White [the Vice Principal] to give you! Is he grounded?"

In my experience, grounding a five-year-old is more of a punishment for ME than it is for him, so I told Pie it was really not his business and called Tito in for some 'splainin. Tito had conveniently made himself scarce.

Just then, the phone rang and it was Mrs. White. If Tito continues to be a problem the bus company won't allow him to ride the bus anymore. I hope that isn't what he actually wants - for me to drive him every day. Because that would seriously piss me off.

Why can't he just keep his lil butt in ONE SPOT??? It's ridiculous. I don't know what to do.


Yesterday my throat still wasn't feeling better, and I was pretty sure it was Strep again (for the fourth time in the last 5 months, thank you very much), so I went to Urgent Care after Tito left for school.

I got into a room within a few minutes and not long afterwards a rather jovial doctor came in and said, "Sarah?"

That's me.

Hey there (shaking my hand), I'm Doctor Bob.

Doctor Bob was cute. Well, hello, Doctor Bob.

Oh, by the way, here's what I was wearing:



Suuh-MOE-kin.

As you can see, not much room for the stethoscope when he listened to my chest. But he could hear well enough to tell me it wasn't pneumonia.

He asked about my symptoms - am I coughing? No. Congested? Not really. Trouble sleeping? Yeah. Headaches? Dude, I have headaches every day. I don't even pay attention to them anymore. I'm a mom. I put on my game face and tough it out. I don't have time for a sick day.

He looked in my throat and said, "Yup, Strep!" Great.

Allergic to penicillin? No.

Want some painkillers? Um, sure.

I'll give you some good ones. Here's what I want you to do: Get a babysitter, take one tonight and don't make any plans for tomorrow that would involve you driving anywhere.

No problem. I was just going to clean my closet anyway.

Dr. Bob gave me Vicodin. I've been to Urgent Care for strep four times and this is the first time I've been given Vicodin. And he didn't just give me five or ten to get me through the week. He gave me TWENTY. Plus, I'm pretty sure he grazed my ass when I was paying my co-pay.

I'm thinkin Dr. Bob was under the spell of my Chin-High Titties. My Chitties, if you will.

And, just because so many of you wanted to check out my Chitties, here ya go.

Exhibit A, regular satin bra. Look closely. See the barbell?



Here's where you can really tell the difference:

Before.



After - molded cups. Awesome, right? Did I lie??
Fuckin PERKY!




Looks like it's a dead heat in the Zeppelin race! Hee hee!