Wednesday, January 31, 2007

GIMME A W! GIMME A P! GIMME AN N!

Before we begin, I would just like to remind everyone that these are ACTUAL profile photos from an ACTUAL dating website. These are the photos that these women have consciously selected to be the world's first impression of them. Keep that in mind as I present...

THE WPN WEDNESDAY CHEERLEADERS!!
WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!



WE GOT SPIRIT, YES WE DO!!!























WE GOT SPIRIT, HOW 'BOUT YOU???!



















OUR TEAM IS WHAT?
RED HOT!
OUR TEAM IS WHAT?
RED HOT!



















SPELL IT OUT NOW -
R-E-D, RED, H-O-T...


















RED HOT!
RED HOT!
RED HOT!!







Mercifully, I talked them out of doing a Pyramid. You're welcome.


Here's the JV squad:








Doesn't she look like she's saying "I'll give you kids a dollar to get offa my property!!" ?


















She says she's honest to a fault. Do ya think she's been honest with herself? This ensemble is obviously somebody's fault.

Can I be honest with you, Vicki? You look like an escaped mental patient in the Disney Characters T-shirt, as does anyone over the age of ten, in my anything-but-humble opinion.

I can't think of anything less sexy than Disney, except maybe Looney Toons, or worse, BABY Looney Toons. GIH!









Y'know, I always thought there was sexual tension between Agent Starling and Hannibal Lecter.

Have the lambs stopped screaming, Clariiiiice?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

(wiping tears from eyes)

Gawd girl! Where do you find this stuff?

It boggles the mind!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, you NAILED that last one! Too funny! Yard lady looks like Bea Arthur's ugly sister. If that's even possible.

Anonymous said...

OHMYGOD! It IS Hannibal Lecter and Clarice's lovechild! Uncanny!

Joel Widdershins said...

Ooooooohh, Clariiiice is creeeeepy!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, the first woman looks to Mommy Dearest and she needs to put "NO WIRE HANGERS!!!" in her bio. Didja notice the reflection of people in the Disney chick's mirror? Hello. I dunno about you but I usually don't do self portraits when I got company, just rude. Last chick, just plain scarey. In the infamous words of Ron White: "things that make you go... buh *shudder*."

Anonymous said...

Over here from Bezzie's blog and I am dying. Defiantly book marking material!!

Oh the last one..I can see her peeking from behind the comment screen...she is damn creepy.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, the last comment about "Have the lambs stopped screaming...." LMAO

And that movie scared me to death!

Anonymous said...

Hey, everyone's gotta have some good delusions and about 153 rationalizations just to get out of bed in the morning! Why not take the fantasy on the road? I've seen women just like these out on dates in my town. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I just happened upon your blog and I think it is absolutely wicked (that's wonderful in the UK). I'm a stay-at-home mom as well and your blog just sent me laughing away.
By the way, I may not knit but I can totally dig your blog...lol

Anonymous said...

I still cannot believe people actually think they'll get a date with these pictures!!!!! LOL!

I agree, Clarice and Hannibal's kiddo!

Anonymous said...

You're fuckin mean.