Admit it, THIS is why you missed me.

I now present your nominees for the WPN Hall of Shame:



GRINCH LADY



Remember the line in the cartoon version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas that goes "The Grinch got a Wonderful, AWFUL Idea" ? And then he smiles an evil, toothy sneer?












CHEWBACCA LADY


There's just not much you can do with a Mullet and a Gross Underbite.

She kinda reminds me of Chewbacca. Check it.

I guess we could say she's WOOKIE PA NUB! HAHAHAHAHA!
















And, Finally - BLUE FOOTED BOOBY CHICK!


Doesn't this gal look EXACTLY like a Blue-Footed Booby?















Sigh. I always feel like a supermodel after I look at these people. I just can't get enough.




Anyway, while I was on vacation, I was contacted (via my active Love Happens profile) by these two gentlemen:


Bachelor Number One





Here's a highlight from his profile:

Want a Baby?

"I barely make enough money to support myself, but have made two women pregnant in the past who wanted a baby without a 'man' being around (it was a 'hard' job, but I was able to 'rise' to the occasion to get it done!)."

Stop, stop! Yer killin' me with the dick puns. I love his resume, don't you? I don't make any money, but if all ya want is for me to plant a seed, I'm yer man. Is he hinting that he accepts tips?

I'm so relieved to know that if R and I should decide we want a fourth, we won't have to go through the trouble of a reverse vasectomy. As long as we don't mind babies with 50% troll DNA in them.


Bachelor Number Two



While I certainly share the opinion that you can never have enough fries, I can't stop envisioning a big ol' greasy french fry stickin right out of that big' ol gaping hole in his mouth. I wonder if he does that on dates... I mean, I'd think it's a pretty safe bet that he takes his ladyfriends to Les Arches D'Or.








And now, here are the freaks of the week.




Even Michael Bolton gave up on the Michael Bolton look a few years ago, dude.












This guy's been disappointed so many times, I bet he cries himself to sleep at night.

On one effin' ENORMOUS pillow.
















She kinda looks like a coked-out Carmela Soprano.


















This one's about odd wardrobe choices. A summery straw hat and a furry wrap that would fall off if she let go of it.



















And this one's about an odd hand pose.

I think this could be what Joy from My Name is Earl will look like in 20 years.











She describes herself as a Psychic Jewish Nudist.

It's a shame about the nudist part, as she looks so lovely in Fuchia. But she probably already knew I was going to say that.




Yeah, I know it's not my best work. Cut me some slack. I haven't had as much time to peruse the unsavories this week. Next time I'll do better.