Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Admit it, THIS is why you missed me.

I now present your nominees for the WPN Hall of Shame:


Remember the line in the cartoon version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas that goes "The Grinch got a Wonderful, AWFUL Idea" ? And then he smiles an evil, toothy sneer?


There's just not much you can do with a Mullet and a Gross Underbite.

She kinda reminds me of Chewbacca. Check it.

I guess we could say she's WOOKIE PA NUB! HAHAHAHAHA!


Doesn't this gal look EXACTLY like a Blue-Footed Booby?

Sigh. I always feel like a supermodel after I look at these people. I just can't get enough.

Anyway, while I was on vacation, I was contacted (via my active Love Happens profile) by these two gentlemen:

Bachelor Number One

Here's a highlight from his profile:

Want a Baby?

"I barely make enough money to support myself, but have made two women pregnant in the past who wanted a baby without a 'man' being around (it was a 'hard' job, but I was able to 'rise' to the occasion to get it done!)."

Stop, stop! Yer killin' me with the dick puns. I love his resume, don't you? I don't make any money, but if all ya want is for me to plant a seed, I'm yer man. Is he hinting that he accepts tips?

I'm so relieved to know that if R and I should decide we want a fourth, we won't have to go through the trouble of a reverse vasectomy. As long as we don't mind babies with 50% troll DNA in them.

Bachelor Number Two

While I certainly share the opinion that you can never have enough fries, I can't stop envisioning a big ol' greasy french fry stickin right out of that big' ol gaping hole in his mouth. I wonder if he does that on dates... I mean, I'd think it's a pretty safe bet that he takes his ladyfriends to Les Arches D'Or.

And now, here are the freaks of the week.

Even Michael Bolton gave up on the Michael Bolton look a few years ago, dude.

This guy's been disappointed so many times, I bet he cries himself to sleep at night.

On one effin' ENORMOUS pillow.

She kinda looks like a coked-out Carmela Soprano.

This one's about odd wardrobe choices. A summery straw hat and a furry wrap that would fall off if she let go of it.

And this one's about an odd hand pose.

I think this could be what Joy from My Name is Earl will look like in 20 years.

She describes herself as a Psychic Jewish Nudist.

It's a shame about the nudist part, as she looks so lovely in Fuchia. But she probably already knew I was going to say that.

Yeah, I know it's not my best work. Cut me some slack. I haven't had as much time to peruse the unsavories this week. Next time I'll do better.


Bezzie said...

Psychic Jewish Nudist. I need that on a t-shirt.

Elizabeth said...

Pathetic as these pictures are, at least most of them seem to believe in truth in advertising! No one will say they were deceived by the picture when they meet the Grinch lady or Chewbaca's Separated-At-Birth twin.

SiressYorkie said...

Okay, the Bolton Lookie Like says this:

"read between the line, and I have good teeth, and I know how to put the toilet seat down!!!"

So does a well-trained Labrador, boyo. And which line would you like me to read between??

Joel Widdershins said...

What makes you think that Bachelor numbre deux can AFFORD les arches d'or? He looks more like a ramen noodle man to me. Maybe Waffle House at the most.

And just what is Simple Green, anyway? If it's any good, I might buy some from you. SOME, I said, SOME, not ALL.

Bitterbetty said...

EXACTLY like a blue footed booby... and chewbacca and oh dear the boys are even worse.

This is why I refuse to divorce..

But I am wettting my pants laughing in my ball and chain.

Anonymous said...

Blue Footed Booby STILL has my vote! Yikes!

Love you PK. Hope you are well!

You keep my laughing. :-)

mf said...

I almost pee'd my pants reading these one!LOL

merry said...

Oh my gosh, this is so funny! You should write comedy! My night mare is that I see a picture of myself on your blog!

Joel Widdershins said...

Ok, I'm still not convinced that "Ms. Chewbacca" is a woman. I'm not sure I'd be convinced even if I saw her give birth to a little chewbacca!

thatfarmgirl said...

Yikes. The Michael Bolton dude actually looks like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. I can hear the Euro trash disco playing in the background now...