Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ladies' Night!

Yeah, I've been MIA for a bit, just a little stressed out, but I'll get into that later. Nothing major.

Y'all KNOW I wouldn't letcha down on WPN Wednesday! And, as promised, it time for the guys to feast their eyes!

Drink up, fellas! The more you drink, the better they look!
Until you wake up and gnaw your own arm off.

Either she's on her way to a Wet T-shirt Contest, or somebody needs to send Sweetlips here a Beige Bra.

The fact that she lists "erotica" and "sweat" among her turnons just really creeps me out.

And I didn't even touch on her passion for NASCAR.

Eeew, I just said "touch on her..." Somebody smack me.

Let's vote - is this a guy?

Liza Minelli in a fat suit.
You're welcome.

There's just not much you can do with a Mullet and a Gross Underbite.

She kinda reminds me of Chewbacca. Check it.

I guess we could say she's WOOKIE PA NUB! HAHAHAHAHA!

"Looking for some one that loves life..."

And corn dogs.

Anybody else see Dwight Shrute's little sister?

Think of the money you'd save on a big screen TV - you can project movies on her forehead!

Bonnie Tyler has not aged well.

Turn around...
Oh Dear God! Turn BACK around!!

Nuthin I can say, Total Eclipse of the Heart.

(fade to black)

Ok, you're going to have to work with me a little bit here.

Remember the line in the cartoon version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas that goes "The Grinch got a Wonderful, AWFUL Idea" ? And then he smiles an evil, toothy sneer?

Imagine Marsha in green makeup.

Or, if it's easier for you, imagine The Grinch with crimped hair.

She's "looking to meat new friends...and maybe moor on cam."

Way to give us Horny Housewives a bad name. Thanks a lot, freak.

Beverly likes Swap Meets, Garage Sales and Anal Sex.

(Are you shuddering along with me at home??)

Edit - my bad, she doesn't care for anal sex. Sorry, guys. She lists herself as a female, but I'm not 100% certain that those nasty blue pooka shells aren't hiding an Adam's apple the size of Nevada.

Oooh, I can't even WAIT to see what Google searches hit me now.

Finally, I would like to wish my beloved husband R a Happy Anniversary! With every year that goes by (this is #9), we're pretty sure somebody loses a bet.

Thank you, R, for taking me off the market. I'm so glad I don't have to compete with this bevy of beauties anymore!


helen said...


thanks for the laugh. I needed it today!

and congrats :)

Bezzie said...

Now the question is does Electric Glow Orange lady like to have anal sex at swap meets held in garages?

Sometimes I feel so bad for laughing, but how can you not???

Bob said...

Ok, I say blondie is probably a man -something about the face aint quite right. And Chewbacca looks like she might have been a man at some point, too. Or at least what Dave Barry would look like as a woman.

Dan said...

Happy Anniversary to you and R!!!
Glad you are back, missed your writings. What a freakin scary crop this week.

buttercup said...

Happy Anniversary!

Blondie is definitely a man. So it the mullet person.

Maybe the swap meet lady likes anal sex because if her partner touches her he leaves hand prints in her spray on tan paint? Just a thought.

Thanks for another scary group.

bradyphrenia said...

Happy Anniversary!

btw, for some reason blogger doesn't like your comments on my blog, and it keeps eating/ignoring them. *shrug*

SiressYorkie said...

Is that really hefty chick lying down on cement, possibly waiting in line for Billy Ray Cyrus tickets??

Dear Gourd, give her some and let her back into the pasture...

The last one I think is the Mama Oompa Loompa, from whom allll Loompa-ites were sprung.

Oopma loompa doopity doo
I've got a bottle of bleach for youuu...

Poops said...

She's a MAN, baby! And I'm not sure a couple of others aren't too. I'm just sayin...

Glad your back and out of the fetal position at last. I think this was your best Wookin' Wednesday yet.

Karen said...

Must. control. the. laughter. at. work. Hahahaha. And that one is definitely a dude.

Happy Anniversary!!

Cheesy Knit Wit said...

Happy Anniversary PK! Much love to you and yours!

Oh, and that gal who looks like a guy....erm, I would say she/he is a guy!


DomesticOverlord said...

For the first time ever I had to check a profile and I discovered that Beverly is TURNED OFF by anal sex. I also discovered Beverly's gender is listed as male. Though why she felt the need to tell us she lives near Vegas when it's totally evident from her orange skin and crazy updo, is beynd me.

Happy Anniversary!

Ali said...

Corn dogs....LMAO!! You are brilliant :)

I just noticed today that you showed my photos last Wednesday :) Just so y'all know, I didn't go looking for that, my sicko cousin sent it to me. He always has the most disturbing emails. Gotta love him.

Rima said...

Happy anniversary!

I was particularly entertained by the fact that Chewbacca has kids but hasn't yet decided if she actually wants them. Look for a yard sale coming up at her house, I guess.

turtlegirl76 said...


Secondly - I vote Guy. Most assuredly. Gah!

And Corn Dog girl - is that an oxygen machine I see in the background? I am so not surprised.

Penny Karma said...

D.O. - on your behalf, I will update Oompa Loompa She-Male Beverly's information immediately.

(Did anybody see the episode of Arrested Development when Maeby gave Lindsay a tank top that said "Shemale" and told her "It's a She-Molly!")

I'd hate for her to get picked up at the next swap meet by someone who was misled by my ghastly error.

Does Swap Meet mean something different in other (ahem) subcultures?

Penny Karma said...

Ok, just to clarify -

Beverly lists herself as a 61-year old female looking for a male who must love sex.

However, she draws the line at anal sex and S&M.

I find the fact that she doesn't like reptiles deliciously ironic, since her skin is so leathery and reptilian.

ZantiMissKnit said...

That's it. I *have* to introduce ZMrK to Wookin Pa Nub Wednesdays.

I think this is officially the Scariest Week Ever.

ZantiMissKnit said...

Can't sleep . . .grinch-woman will eat me.