Monday, June 22, 2009

I'm Kinda Sad.

Buffy is gone.

No, she's not dead, she's just gone back to From Whence She Came. And I'm a little sad.

It was really kinda whirlwind how it all went down. I knew she was miserable in her job. Her boss still owes her hundreds of dollars in commissions. I knew she was torn between looking for another job and quitting work altogether to stay home with Perfect Baby.

Oh, before I continue, I forgot to update you all on the Beeb and Princeton Situation. Remember Skip and Jughead who "asked out" Beeb and her friend Elle, respectively? Remember how Jughead dumped Elle via text message, his reason being that she was "TOO OBSESSIVE"?? Well, get this -

Skip dumped Beeb via email a couple of days before the end of school, his reason being...

(are you ready for this??)


I'll give you a minute to wipe off whatever you just spewed onto your monitor.

So, naturally, Beeb didn't want to hear the I Told You That Kid Was A Douchebag lecture that I was totally prepared to give, so she didn't tell me Skip broke up with her. Pie told me. And I told Beeb that not only was it one of those rare times when I don't relish being right, but also that I was truly sorry that she felt like she couldn't tell me about it. Which is understandable - I am a bit of an I Told You So gloater.

I did point out to her that Skip's breaking up with her out of nowhere was extremely shitty - and that it was EXACTLY what she had done to Princeton. She got it.

Meanwhile, she and Princeton never stopped talking and texting even while Beeb was "going out with" Skip, so between the two of them, really, nothing changed other than The Official Title Of Girlfriend. Still, I found out later from Buffy that Beeb had, completely on her own, sent Princeton a contrite, heartfelt text, telling him very humbly that she knew she was a total jerk and he didn't deserve to be treated that way, and she wanted to go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend but if he didn't want to she would understand. It was written more sweetly than that, I'm paraphrasing, but that's the basic sentiment of it.

And Princeton took her sorry ass back.

I told her she was Fuckin Lucky, because most guys would SO not put up with the "I'm just gonna see if this guy's a better boyfriend than you, and if he's not, I'll be back" bullshit she pulled on Princeton. And it turned out to be a good thing that they were able to part on really good terms, because the parting really sucked.

I took the two of them to see Land Of The Lost on Thursday night (Buffy's idea for the two of them to have a "date", and yet I somehow ended up both driving AND paying, but whatever), took them out to lunch at Steak N' Shake (the boy had lived here almost two years and never eaten there) and then swimming all day on Friday, and took Beeb out to watch Princeton's last baseball game in the BLISTERING heat for two and a half hours on Saturday (he went 0-3, called out on strikes twice - but made a spectacular diving catch).

And get this shit - when Beeb and I got to the game and texted Buffy to find out where she was sitting, she texted back informing me that she "can't take the heat", and she was actually out getting her hair cut. She then asked if I could bring Princeton home afterwards. Classic Buffy.

On Sunday morning (Father's Day, mind you) she texted me to see if I was going to come over to say goodbye. I didn't answer until after I was pretty sure she'd already left. I don't like goodbyes, and I didn't want it to be awkward between Beeb and Princeton since I don't think he's ever even hugged her before.

Actually, Princeton was going to go away to some camp in Canada for most of the summer, so Beeb had already kinda gotten used to the idea of him being gone, but this is more permanent. Of course, the whole thing seems kinda hare-brained and only half thought out in the first place.

Here's the chronology as best I understand it - Buffy had been looking for work and a friend of hers in From Whence She Came said she should come back to From Whence She Came and told Buffy about a job he was looking to fill. Buffy demanded specifics, indicating exactly what it would take to get her to pack up and move back, after less than two years in St. Louis.

By the way, in case you were wondering, the reason they moved here initially was to Princeton could go to a particular religion-based (which I am respectfully keeping private) prep school, which she pulled him out of after less than a year for reasons that kinda sounded to me like the other parents didn't really get her parenting style. I've told y'all she's a rare breed, but I respect her. Whatever she did to get a kid as cool as Princeton worked, as far as I'm concerned.

Ok, so she told the person what would make it worth her while to leave here, and didn't hear back for a little over a week. Then she got that hideous Strep thing that required me to shuttle her around for five days, and then about a day or two after that ordeal she called to tell me that she was having her tonsils taken out. AND that she took that job offer and they were moving back From Whence. In, like, two weeks.

She, Princeton and Perfect Baby took off on Sunday, and left Dummy here to pack up and sell the house.

She's got plenty of family and friends up there, so she'll be ok. She's got a one-bedroom apartment in what she herself described to me as "a semi-shitty area of town (but it's ok because I know way around)" and set Perfect Baby up with daycare, and she starts work today, I think. Buffy's mom (who came down to help out after Buffy's tonsilectomy so I was off the hook) is hanging out with Princeton until he leaves for camp.

Maybe I'm boring or way too cautious or I lack that whimsical, blissful free-spiritedness that some lucky people have, but Jesus knows I would NEVER make a huge whole-family-affecting decision like that in two weeks. In her mind, it all came together in a way that made her feel like it was meant to be. The way my brain works, when shit comes together THAT quickly, it's NEVER a good thing.

I'm surprised at how affected I've been by Buffy's sudden departure. As much as I complained about Buffy, as much as she drove me absolutely fucking batshit crazy, she is who she is, and I will miss her. She made for some great blogfodder, right?

And even though she made me feel like a fucking doormat because I never told her no, she also made me feel like the kind of dependable friend everyone needs, and I loved that feeling. I don't fault her for never really having an opportunity to reciprocate for all of those times I helped her out.

I'll miss Princeton too, both for Beeb's sake and for my own reasons. Princeton offered me a sense of security. I never worried about Beeb when the two of them were together. Then there's the whole element of Beeb's inevitable Abandonment Issues. The two friends who have had the most overwhelmingly positive influence on her life both only stayed a year. The Jack thing was different, obviously, but still, I'm concerned about that being a problem for her later in life.

It's nice of me to make my kids' future therapists' jobs easier by identifying their potential emotionally-crippling neuroses as early as possible, isn't it?


Bezzie said...

If From Whence She Came is where I think it is, I'm not surprised. Did you see the MSN article about it being one of the top 10 places to start your life over? We don't last long down here...

I'm sorry you miss her!!!! HOpefully the next blog fodder friend won't be so using!

Kev said...

Bezzie - I try to add blogfodder to PK's life in a fun way.

Yeah, Beebs is indeed fucking lucky that Princeton gave her another chance - it says a lot not only about him, but her as well. She was able to admit her mistake - that is a skill that should serve her well - however as I've written over on my blog, she just shouldn't expect others to own up to their part of the blame very often.

I never met Buffy. But I wish her well.

my verification word? "retrap"

Kashmir Knitter said...

I hope Beeb and Princeton continue to talk via email and text message (the new pen pals, eh?). It could be that this isn't the end of their friendship but a big change in it. Maybe they'll even meet up again later in life.