Friday, June 26, 2009

Buffy Lives On...

Yesterday morning at 7:45 I got a call. There's only one person who calls me that early - Buffy - but she's in the Pacific Time Zone now, two hours earlier than here, so I figured it couldn't be her. For an instant I was afraid that it was my mom calling to tell me someone was dead.

It wasn't. It was Dummy.

He was calling to let me know, in his goofy roundabout tongue-tied way (I kinda think he's hot for me, to tell y'all the truth) that his boss needed him to take the work van in to be fixed, and since he'd be up in that part of anyway, I didn't need to take him to the airport today.

Ummm, ok...

Apparently I had agreed to take Dummy to the airport today before Buffy left. I have a vague memory of this conversation taking place on the day that I picked her up from the hospital, but it was more like a "if I get this job that I applied for, Dummy might need a ride to the airport in a couple of weeks, would that be ok?" to which I probably said "sure, absolutely, no problem".

I hadn't heard one more word about it, apart from her telling me she'd taken the job. If she's considering THAT as my confirmation, that's fuckin shitty.

I concealed my total shock, and lemme say it's a damn good thing he was calling to tell me he didn't need me and not calling me and asking me where the hell I was, because there was no possible way I could do it. I had to take all three Apes with me to Beeb's dermatologist appointment.

It's quite a task to keep the boys in line while holding Beeb's hand as she gets stuck in the back of her neck with a six-inch needle and they scrape her mole with a razor. Tough to be a hard ass when you're about to pass out.

AAAAAAANYWAY, I didn't have to take Dummy to the airport, but he did mention that he *might* need a ride home on July 1st, I think. I think. I really wasn't listening.

Apparently, I also must not have been listening when Buffy mentioned she was passing my phone number on to a friend of hers who has to do a bunch of "demos" as a part of her summer job.

My home phone rang, and caller ID showed a name I didn't recognize. Ok, I shouldn't have answered, and had it said "Buffy's Phone" I wouldn't have. But the woman said, "Hi Sarah!"

Hello...

"You and I haven't met, but I'm a friend of Buffy's..."

OH, FUCK.

"She probably told you I'd be calling..."

Um, nooo...

She proceeded to explain that she gets paid just for doing the demo (didn't tell me what it was), and there's no pressure to buy anything but is daytime or evening better for me?

MOTHERFUCKERFUCKINGFUCK.

So I told the woman I have exactly eleven dollars on which five people have to live for the next six days, but if she was cool with the fact that there was absolutely no fucking way I was going to buy anything she was selling, then whatever.

She's coming over tomorrow at 1.

Oh, and before you call me a pussy for not saying no, as soon as I hung up the phone with Total Stranger Friend of Buffy's, I sent Buffy the following text:


Do I remember the part where you signed me up for someone to come over and do some sort of demo in my house?


See? I'm much bolder in writing. Y'all know if she calls me, I'll revert back to pussitude.


Sometimes it takes a while, but eventually I stop missing the douchebags I don't talk to anymore.

3 comments:

Kev said...

can you bring friends? I'll try to sucker SuperWife into coming too - and you've yet to experience her in full " I don't want to fucking be doing this" mode. There's a reason I invited you and not my wife to the Final Four party...

And don't you just love it when people remind you why they annoy you?

Batty said...

I'm at a loss for words. And believe me, that doesn't happen. Just yesterday, Mr. Batty almost fell off the couch laughing when I said I was going to shut up for the rest of the movie. So... not knowing what to say is rare. Buffy is smackworthy.

SiressYorkie said...

And the curse of Cutco strikes again.