Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Semi-Insanity Week

When you see that I haven't updated in a while, do you secretly get all tingly with anticipation knowing that a super-colossal uberinformative post almost assuredly is brewing in my imagination? Me too.

It's not as bad as the last Insanity Week, earlier in the summer, but this week has been pretty nutty too. Remember when I voluntarily drove 23 miles each way so Pie could go to this kickass camp? Well, because I'm either the greatest mom of all time or the biggest sucker on the planet, I set him up with the second session of the same camp, which this time is in a different part of the STL area. It's still about 20 miles from our house, just in a different direction.

It was important to me to be supportive to the director's effort to expand the camp to this part of town. There are fewer kids than at the earlier camp, but that allows the kids and the volunteers to work pretty much one-on-one. He's gotten to swim and snorkel and learn some martial arts stuff, but due to the extreme heat they cancelled Archery Day, which was to have been held outdoors. Pie was really disappointed.

Anyway, Monday I took the kids to Anti-Stella's (and I lent her the movie Stella Dallas, so she is officially in the Inner Circle) and I went to the Stitch and Pitch Game with Shannon! It was a really good time, highlighted by the 10-run, record-tying, 5th inning!



The fact that no one is sitting in any of the seats near us is kinda funny. It's not like we were sloppy-ass, falling-down drunk and obnoxious and heckling the other team. Believe it or not, neither of us drank a single beer. Nine bucks, are you kidding me??? I'll go get a free one at Grant's Farm tomorrow, thankyaverymuch.

I heard there were something like 900 Stitch N' Pitchers there! It really was fun to see all the different projects people were working on. Me? I took my Sugar and Cream Dishcloth. And I screwed up the pattern when I was trying to look like a badass knitter among the other badass knitters. I should have knitted myself a gigantic letter L for my forehead. Perhaps in Noro.

Tuesday I drove Pie to camp again and then Tuesday evening we watched America's Got Talent. Did you all think I'd forgotten about my Hoffluvin'? Nah. It's our favorite show. And our favorite acts got through to the next level: Julienne Irwin, the Cincinnati Sewer Guy whose name eludes me, The Incredible Ventriloquist who can sing better with his mouth closed than Tony Bennett or Etta James or Kermit the Frog or any of the impressions he does (Dude, I would TOTALLY pay $100 to see him play a headline show in Vegas), my favorite from the beginning Cas Haley, and Butterscotch.

I was as happy to see them get through as I was to see the Creepy Duttons NOT get through. They lost me on La Bamba, and then they reeeeeeally lost me on The Devil Went Down To Georgia. I'm sure they're lovely people, they just, I dunno, weirded me out in a creepy inbred horror movie Grown-Up Children of the Corn cult or something kind of way.

And then on Tuesday nights I also watch Big Brother. Can I just say I would jump all over Evil Dick? I find him so deliciously bad, I can't get enough of him. I mean, I hope the shit works out between him Danielle and whatever, but I'd be Evil Dick's Evil Mignon in a freakin' heartbeat. Love the tatts, love the piercings, love his sexy voice, love the attitude, love his freewheelin' use of colorful expletives. FUCK YEAH!!!

I am a little bummed that he's gunnin' for Eric, though, because I find Eric quite entertaining too. He's funny, and he's got pierced nipples. I wonder if his and mine would get entangled, like kids with braces making out and getting their brackets locked? His look like hoops and mine are curved barbells. Hey, it could happen. One of the hidden dangers of pierced nipples that I hadn't thought about. Oh, and an extremely cold winter is another, if you're curious. But I digress.

So after Big Bro last night, R and I started to watch Another Evening with Kevin Smith, and just as I was about to say that I didn't think it was as funny as the first one, the power went out. POOF.

Every time the power goes out, I prepare myself mentally for the worst. Like the time our power was out for five days and that stupid bitchclown at Evilite tried to mess with me.....oooooh, do NOT get me started. On the 15th I'll mail my third-to-last payment to their evil empire.

I

CAN'T

WAIT.

Anyway, R got up and said he'd go to the basement to check the fuses, and I said Honey, just look outside and see if the streetlights are on first. Duh. They weren't. There was a time in the not-so-distant past where it could have indicated that we hadn't paid our electric bill. But this was not the case. It's all about Online BillPay. So R called Ameren and we got the recording that they were aware of the outage at (insert computerized voice stating our address) and that approximately 4000 other people were in the dark too and we should all have our shit back on by 3am.

Here's the thing - it's not about the fact that the air conditioner isn't on. I can sleep naked, I got no problem with it, and I'm pretty sure R isn't going to complain. But I can't sleep without some white noise. I keep a fan on in the bedroom even in the winter because I like the sound. And when the power goes out it goes to that horrible deafening silent stillness and I can't stand it because then I have to listen to the sounds in my head, which, the best I can describe it, sounds like a traffic jam with about 200 horns honking at different pitches and frequencies. That's cuz I hadn't taken my meds for a while.

And I hadn't mentioned it on here, I don't think, but I was waiting on a shipment of my meds last week so I'd gone off them again for a little bit because I wasn't paying attention to how many I had left. And my shipment came in the mail earlier that day, only instead of the regular brand name I had gotten in the past, I got the WAY less expensive generic version. Let me show you something, for the sake of comparison -




That's my last Wellbutrin on the left, and on the right, look at the SIZE of that thing! It's a horsepill! Look at what I have to choke down just to keep from killing people! So I took my first one this morning and it hurt going down, but I'm happy to report that I haven't killed anyone yet.

But when I start back on the meds, my sleep always suffers. Oh well. What's sleep, anyway? Sometimes I get really philosophical and feel like blogging when I can't sleep. I would have liked to have logged in and blogged a bit last night. I was feeling chatty, but obviously the power being out made that impossible. (Note to self: I need a laptop.)

It's the same kind of feeling I get after I watch Kathy Griffin - I just felt like talking. I even wanted to write the witty shit down so I could blog it later because I was totally in the zone, but couldn't find anything to write with in the dark. So I just started talking to R. R, who really wanted to go to sleep, but who after ten years has come to accept the fact that if I can't sleep, he's probably not going to get a whole lot of sleep either.

DAMMIT!!!

What?

I hate the quiet! Now I'm not gonna be able to sleep!

Mmmmmph...

Hey, do you think I could do like Kevin Smith, just stand up in front of a couple thousand people and answer questions and be funny?

Well, you talk a lot.

I know. And I'm funny, right? Ya know, sometimes when I watch, like, Last Comic Standing, I think I could totally do that, ya know? Funny shit happens to me, I could really just talk about my stupid life for a long time.

You tell funny stories, but you're not really a comic, Honey.

DAMMIT! I can't sleep! FECK!!!

Mmmmmmmph...

Omigod, did I show you that awesome Koigu I got from Turtlegirl? Did I? Well, obviously I can't now in the dark, but remind me tomorrow. It's fantastic.

(Side note: Peep this. Gorgeous, right?




Some people don't understand why knitters take and post pictures of yarn any more than they understand how some of us drool and touch the monitor when someone posts a good Yarn Pr0n money shot. I'm not good at posting the yarn pics, but this yarn's really really indescribably pretty.

Yes, thoughts of yarn occupy my mind in the middle of the night sometimes.)

And I know this post is rambling and senseless and completely devoid of any discernible seques between topics, but really, that's how my brain works. And come on, you love it. It's part of the charm of this blog. At least, I hope it is.

Bottom line, I'm going to open BMB up for some Q and A a la Kevin Smith. Have at it, bitches! I'll answer as many questions as I can between now and a week from now, when school starts.

Segueless transistion - I can't believe summer is almost over. My Pie's going to kindergarten. Let me give you a preview of a typical school day at Casa Karma, starting on the 15th.

8:50 Drop Beebie off at School A
9:00 Drop Tito off at School B
Noon Pick Tito up at School B
1:00 Drop Pie off at School A
4:00 Pick Beebie and Pie up at School A.

All summer I've looked forward to having time to knit when school starts and I don't have to take the Apes on Field Trips every single day. What was I thinking?

And back to previous topic, if you were planning to ask if I slept naked last night, the answer is...

YES. Even when the power came back on.

Rrrrrowwwllll.

9 comments:

cheryl:) said...

I did a dishcloth at stitch n'pitch too!! LOL!!

Beverly said...

I hear ya on the fan-sleeping thing. When my hubs and I started dating,I knew he was "the one" because my cat liked him, and he's also a fan-sleeper. Doesn't matter the time of year; the fan must be on.

Carol said...

Holy crap! that IS some difference in pill size. Weird. Up here in the frozen north manufacturers try to make the generic looks as much liek the brand as possible. Probably in the hope that grandma won't notice it's a generic...fat chance...

Jo said...

I love reading you ;)

Here's my question:

Are you this snarky (and I mean that in a good way) around your kids or do you tone it down for them?

I ask because I think we are a lot alike in humour and way too many times things fly out of my mouth in front of my 4 year old and later I end up trying to explain why Mommy says things like this...

Bezzie said...

I'm another white noise addict. I just point the fan towards the wall during the winter.

At first I thought I read that "Anarchy Day" was cancelled at camp. Ha!

SiressYorkie said...

Another white noise-aholic here too because I have tinnitus very, very bad.

What you need is a white noise generator. I use one every night (runs on batteries and AC adaptor). If the power fails, you'll still be able to sleep. My little generator has literally been all over the world with me. You can go here:
http://www.naturestapestry.com/generator.html

Or find one here (slightly cheaper):
http://www.soundbytes.com/page/SB/PROD/480878

They make allll the difference. Trust me.

LilKnitter said...

Archery is overrated...my arrows always ended up in the dirt, and the bow string would leave me with bruises up my forearm. I don't shoot.

I have trouble falling asleep without voices. So I have Buffy on every. single. night as I go to sleep, with the timer on the tv to turn it off after 30 minutes. This is what I mean when I say I have an addiction, but it beats insomnia, any day of the week!

Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Jo, the first word all the babies in my family say is "bullshit". That tradition was started by my Aunt Evelyn (Goddess rest her soul), and faithfully carried on by me. I'm proud to say that it's my twin granddaughters' favorite word, except it comes out "boosheet". We'll have to work on that.

I can't sleep for shit, as evidenced by it being 6:34 a.m. and me still up and wide awake. It must be all the meds I have to take. Alas, my life is filled with heavy-duty pills - I take handfuls four times a day, most of them narcotics like methadone and oxycontin - so I stay up until Hubster needs to get up, and then I hopefully get to bed by noon. If I get four hours a night, I'm doing great. Hubster takes Wellbutrin, too - he's bipolar - in addition to a bunch of other meds. I warned him that when he turned 40, his body would go to shit, and it has. Heh. I have been vindicated.

I have to say that "bitchclown" is now my second favorite new dirty word, second only to "fucktard". I just love that one. BTW, what's the standing dick button for? I couldn't get the damn thing to open. Uh... in a manner of speaking.

My first Stitch 'n Pitch is in September - the Oakland A's against some Texas team, I think. I'll be working on my grand's poncho, since I'm finishing her sister's as soon as I get off this infernal machine.

Off to greet the fog - I live five minutes from San Francisco Bay - and get back to knitting.

Penny Karma said...

Yeah, I kinda made Bitchclown up on the fly - that chick is too much of a idiot to be a full-blown bitch. If she had half a brain, she might be a bitch, but she's too fuckin stupid.

Bitchtard might have been more accurate, come to think of it.