Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Random Thoughts and Astute Observations

And Now, A Collection of Random, Yet Extremely Profound Thoughts

I've got too much on my mind and as I search to find a connecting thread to use as a title I realize that all I can come up with is Random Thoughts.

Random Thought #1 - The reason I got into this blog thing in the first place was because my cousin Amy has all of her knitting triumphs brilliantly displayed in blog form. Here's hers (DISCLAIMER - if you don't know the difference between acrylic worsted weight yarns and self-striping sock yarns, you might not get it):

http://www.amylovie.blogspot.com/

I've seen tons of witty knitting blogs. I'm a novice knitter, so I don't think I'm really worthy of a knitting blog yet. I will say that since I started knitting about 6 months ago or so, I've lost about 20 pounds. The correlation of course, is that you can't eat while you're knitting. Maybe I'll put up a pic of my kids wearing the stuff I knit for them, if I can figure out how to post a photo.

Random Thought #2 - I love reality shows, but is it really reality to compile a bunch of women who just happen to look fantastic in bikinis and make them bungee jump into a cave teeming with rabid bats while sucking back a pilsner glass of aardvark bile? One day the big girls of the world will unite and squash the reality show casting directors. By sitting on them.

Random Thought #3 - THE PAST TENSE OF SEE IS NOT SEEN. I don't know what's been going on but I've SEEN an exponential increase in this particular grammatical faux pas. I'll have to make a list of all of the butcherings of the English language that I encounter on a daily basis.

Random Thought #3a - On the subject of the English Language and the Americanization thereof; I know nobody else probably cares, but I love to see the words that are added to the American Lexicon every year. This year's additions are Bikini Wax, Brain Freeze, and Chick Flick. Worthy choices, all. Although I'd be leerie of any sentence containing the three together.

Random Thought #3b - Only slightly less than I love linguistics and the study of the subtleties of languages, I love my adoreable husband, who bought me The Dictionary Of American Slang, because he knew I would love it. Show me another girl who's received The DOAS as a birthday gift. Bonus points if she squealed with glee when she opened it as I did (instead of smacking the giver in the cranium with it). Lemme know how that search goes.

Random Thought #4 - Is it just me or does Tony Blair sound exactly like C-3PO? Close your eyes and listen... it's creepy.

Random Thought #5 - I really suck at knitting. When I get better I'll add a Knitting Dimension to my blog, instead of just bitter rants. I've figured out that the only reason I knit is because I thrive on external affirmation. I love when people tell me something I did is brilliant, delicious or hilarious. Yesterday I mentioned my Martha Stewart theory. I have a theory that Martha Stewart is the same sort of person. Hell, if I had unlimited time and money, I could decoupage my hen house too. I'm onto you, Martha. You have self-esteem issues, and so do your followers. And if they don't have self-esteem issues before they attempt one of your oh-so-fulfilling-yet-simple projects, they will before they're done. I'd love to hate Martha, but those organically grown lemon apricot tartlets are just so scrumptious! Sarcasm is often lost in the written word, sadly.

Random Thought #6 - With all the money they have, why don't Bill Gates and Donald Trump have better hair? Somebody needs to introduce those two to Fantastic Sam. Maybe I'll mail them each a coupon.

ANOTHER UNSOLICITED PRODUCT REVIEW (you know you love them):

Try Crest Whitening Expressions in Cinnamon Blast, and you'll never go back to basic mint again. Every other toothpaste tastes like caulk.

3 comments:

Kevin said...

I know I'm several years too late, but having never had one: is getting a bikini wax more painful than having a great chick flick destroyed by brain freeze from eating Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey(R) too fast?

Penny Karma said...

I'm leery of you now.

RiverCitySTL said...

Today I found your blog. Today I could not stop reading. Today I laughed so hard, I seriously had to pee.

You made my day! Happy V Day to you!

P.S. I could not agree more...why the hell do Bill Gates and Donald Trump not have better hair??????!!