Monday, August 10, 2009

Looks like The Patron Saint of Blogfodder has smiled upon you all.

Did I not call it??

Guess who's in Pie's class?
SWAMP. THING. JUNIOR.

I totally knew that the abrupt departure of Buffy would leave open the role of Evil Nemesis on my blog, and I figured it was only a matter of time before someone would emerge and claim the title. A certain other fat skanky twat showed some potential, but she's not worth the time it would take to give you the backstory. So we're pretty sure it'll be a Swamp Thing year. Brace yourselves.

I suppose there's something to be said about The Devil You Know. Before Meet The Teacher Night, I'm going to go back and read through old posts just to remind myself what I'm dealing with.

Oh, and guess who else is in his class? The little douchebag who totally wrecked Pie's birthday party last year and gave me a full-on anxiety attack. I wanted to punch that kid.

Oh sweet chocolate Jesus on a whole wheat cracker... Get this shit.

THIS JUST - And I mean JUST!!! - HAPPENED.
Literally just hung up the muthahfuggin phone.
UNBELIEVABLE.

Princeton's been at camp in Canada and Beeb hasn't seen him all summer. He and Buffy sister have spent the last four days on a train from From Whence Buffy Came to get here. So today Princeton calls because he's back in town to help Dummy pack up and get out of St. Louis and he wants to hang with Beeb.

We had planned to go to the Science Center today, so I told Beeb she could invite him to come along with us. We had it all worked out, sounded fun, whatever. I wasn't plananing on spending a goddamn dime today, but now I'm probably obligated for lunch. Fuck.

Anyway, suddenly Beeb hands me the phone and it's Dummy.

Somehow he read "Can Princeton come to the Science Center with us?" as "Sure, I'd be thrilled to pick up Princeton's luggage from the downtown Amtrak station!"

Oh, GREAT! Thank you so much, Sarah! That would really help us out!

Sure. Be glad to.

FUCK.

I will be SO glad when that woman and her sphere of influence are out of my life. And that Sphere of Influence includes my tonsils, which are slated to be removed on September 16th.

I believe the Patron Saint of Blogfodder is Saint Skroomey. And I know somebody's been praying to him, cuz he always seems to Screw Me. For your amusement.

7 comments:

Ferris Family said...

Swamp thing and the hellion!!!! Dude, I've met them both... what did you do to piss the gods off?
I can't wait to read about the folleys. :)

CBear said...

This year is gonna be good - at least for us. sorry.

But what I wanna know is the story of the twat. She had to be really bad for you to not want to write about her! yikes.

Kev said...

Oh CBear... you really don't want to know the story of the twat.

I'll give you the highlights - she's a twat. And it is thanks to her twatitude that Penny and I are such good friends now.

Anonymous said...

Dear PK, When are the kids going back to school? I'm in absolute withdrawal and I needs my blog updates (including the Twat, of course.)

It's been a loooong summer!!

SiressYorkie said...

TWAT! TWAT! TWAT! TWAT!

(that's me shout-chanting, btw...not just repeatedly calling you names)

C'mon, budge over with the story! Can it be worse than..oh say, LUBABA?

Penny Karma said...

Anonymous - at first I was thinking you might actually be said twat (or one of her spies), but then you spoke with such lucidity, I knew you couldn't possibly be a member of her camp.

And, in answer to your question, Tomorrow.

Batty said...

Letting yourself be screwed for our amusement is a sign of true greatness. You're da bom!