Monday, April 14, 2008

Why would ANYBODY think they could fuck with MY KID and get away with it?

NOTE: If you missed yesterday's post, stop now and read it first.

You couldn't PAY me to go back to Junior High. Not even if I had 25 years on the other girls in my class.

COULDN'T. PAY. ME. And I totally need the money, too.

This morning I told Beeb that I'd let her finish out the year at her old school if she wanted to, but she said, Mom, if I changed schools, I'd just be running away from my problems, and I don't want to do that.

A proud moment in my illustrious parental career. Almost as proud as I was when I discovered that my boys knew that the answer to the question Why Do Witches Burn is Because They're Made of Wood.

And right before Beeb left for the bus stop, R and I had a little pep talk with her: Beeb, have you ever heard the phrase, "The shit's about to hit the fan?"

Around lunchtime, I got a call from Beeb's Principal. She was shocked and appalled at how absolutely horrifying the messages were that I had forwarded to her. And get this - I honestly hadn't listened to all of them when they came through. I kinda got sick of them and I just figured, whatever, dumb bitches... but I forwarded ALL of them to the principal, the counselor and the two teachers. The Principal told me that she had listened to all of the messages, and because there were actual threats of physical violence, I needed to contact the police immediately.

Physical violence. THE POLICE.

Apparently, one of the messages I hadn't heard listened to came right after the threatening photo that I did see. It was a picture of Frances (obviously taken by Marilyn) holding a flashlight over her head like a knife and her mouth wide open as though she was screaming. I wish I could post it, but I shouldn't.

The message that came after that, I'm paraphrasing, said something like "If you do anything on the field trip tomorrow (which was today), like live, or breathe, or be yourself, you're gonna get a flashlight to the head... and you better not tell anybody or it'll happen again...we're your worst nightmare..." Yeah.

Some of the other messages they left told Beebie that she's "ugly and fat" and she has "a huge butt" and that "she'll probably be anorexic" and "hopefully she'll hang herself someday."

Those little bitches said that about MY KID.

Thank God Beebie didn't hear all of the messages either. Beeb didn't even have the phone when the messages came through yesterday, so I know for sure that she didn't see or respond to them. Whew.

And for the record, before I escalated the situation, I told Beeb that if I defended her and later found out that she had indeed talked smack about Marilyn, I'd be more pissed off than I've ever been in my life, and she's seen me pretty pissed off. I gave her a chance to confess with impunity, and she still said she never said anything about Marilyn, and I believe her.

I talked to Marilyn's mother yesterday, and in a way I feel kinda bad that I went to the school after she said she was going to handle it at home, but I brought it to the school's attention because Frances's mother's phone number is unlisted. Otherwise I would have called her myself.

I'm nonconfrontational UNLESS you fuck with my kid. And if you do, prepare for a shit storm the likes of which you have NEVER fuckin seen.

So I called the police because the school told me to. They sent an officer to my house (and thank God the place was clean so you won't be seeing me on Cops), and I told him the whole story and he listened to the messages and saw the picture, and he asked me what I wanted to see happen next.

Dude, I don't know, I only called y'all because the school told me to, I'm just following procedure...

So Officer Friendly said that he would contact the parents of both girls. And my Inner Seventh Grader danced with joy.

Ok, so next the school counselor emailed me to ask if I thought Beeb would want to talk to her about the Situation At Hand. I said yeah, I think she would. This is why I'm so glad that Beebie has a reputation as a sweet little girl who doesn't start shit. Sure, it can make her an easy target, but both the Principal and the counselor agreed that Beeb's not the kind of kid who cusses other kids out.

Damn right she's not. Kind of fuckin amazing, isn't it? I mean, growing up in MY house, right? Shiiiiit. But anyway.

Meanwhile, the school's DARE Officer called to let me know that he was planning to take Marilyn and Frances out of class and speak to each of them. And I confessed to him that I was a bit nervous about escalating the situation to this level because I don't want to make Beeb's life at school a living hell. I'm always afraid she'll be isolated and labeled as The Kid Who Tells Her Mom On You. I told him all Beebie would really want is for the girls to apologize and stop being assholes to her. Beeb said she saw Frances get pulled out of class today.

R just happened to have today off, just for the sake of it, and it turned out to be a great thing he was home because I had to take myself to the doctor after two weeks of fever, body ache and a hideous cough. My illness has been a bit overshadowed recently by The Swamp Thing Chronicles and whatnot. Anyhoo - SO WORTH THE TRIP. I got Prednisone, cough syrup with Codeine and an Albuterol inhaler. Kickass. I'm gonna dope up and pass out as soon as I'm done typing this.

While I was picking up my doobage, Frances's mother called the house and talked to R. She'd already been up to the school and heard Every. Single. Message. R said she basically apologized to him on the phone for a full thirty minutes. She was mortified. She felt awful, and as a mom, I felt bad for her too. I know if any of my kids pulled shit like that, I'd be mortified too. Then I'd kill 'em.

Beeb came home from school and I asked her about her day. Surprisingly, she said it was really fine. Frances apologized profusely to her and even said that if her mom grounded her for two months, Frances would insist that she be grounded for three. I'm thinkin Frances knows she's gonna catch hell at home.

As for Marilyn, I have no idea what happened with her. Beeb said Marilyn didn't talk to her today at all, which is probably best.

The one I have the biggest problem with is Evilina. She's the one who started the shit in the first place by telling Marilyn that Beeb was talking smack about her, and then washed her hands of it and quickly disappeared from the picture. Here's the most recent email between Beeb and Evilina:

Did you tell Marilyn I called her something bad?
Now she hates me!

Yes I did because it was very rude!!!!

What are you talking about? What did I say?!?

Like you don't know!!! >:(

Yes, I don't know! Tell me what I said!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't even tell me know EXACTLY what you said. Don't you DARE throw this on me. You KNOW what you said.

So I wrote back to Evilina on Beeb's email:
I don't think I said anything, and I think you KNOW I didn't say anything.

OMG, I can't believe you are doing this!!!!! I know you said something and you KNOW that you said something bad.

Me (as Beebie):
WHY won't you just TELL me what I said? What's the big deal, if I already said it, and you obviously told Marilyn, why can't you just REMIND me what it was? I guess I just don't remember.

That little twat's so fulla shit.

I forwarded the counselor the above email and told her that I think Evilina's definitely got some responsibility to claim in all this.

I'll certainly keep you all posted.
Thanks for your thoughts and hugs.


Carina said...

Oh crap. That's all just plain awful, and yes, calling the cops was the right thing to do. I'm glad the school's taking it seriously, since there definitely was a threat of violence in there. I think you've handled it really well.

If my daughter ever pulled that on anyone, I'd apologize for half an hour and then kill her, too. She'd be grounded for yeeeeaaaars. Holy crap! How freakin' out of hand were they?!

RiverCitySTL said...

I agree, you did the right thing. Sheez, girls can just be awful to each other these days...I had sons, but I heard from other mothers of daughters. What is up with girls being mean to each other??? I don't remember any of that going on when I was a kid. I hope the counselors have spoken to the teachers, so they can keep an eye out for your daughter.

Hugs and my best thoughts are with you and your daughter.

turtlegirl76 said...

Kids can be assholes. Beebie was fantastic in the way she dealt with it. And you were too! Rock on!

L said...

wow, amazing how cruel kids can be. Her "friends" especially. Sounds like your daughter is confident, and nothing beats that.

Im the Sunny in Philadelphia/guitar hero chick. Gotta say, I love your blog. I'm so new to all this, and I spent the weekend bug eyed to the computer checking out blogs. As you can see, I put yours on my page cause its one of the ONLY ones who kept me laughing and sounds so real.

But back to your post...those little monsters deserve some serious repercussions...

Anonymous said...

I don't have kids, so I am always amazed at how parents seem to have this innate ability to figure out how to handle these situations. I'm a relatively smart chick, but would have panicked in that situation. Sounds like you are handling it like Mrs Cleaver...or how she would have handled it if Eddie had called the Beaver a fucking bitch or the likes.

I hope that the worst is over, but these things tend to ebb and flow. For now, hats off to you for raising such a reasonable and self-assured girl, and for handling this may want to sit down for this...grace and charm.

I would have totally fucked someone up. Or at least called Evilina the 'c' word. Or texted it to her. It's even in my cell phone predictive text dictionary, which is saying something.

Keep us posted--thinking of you!

Bezzie said...

Yikes man, mother effing yikes.

Poops said...

I gotta say, as much as I admire your handling of this, especially when one considers how much you hate confrontation, I'm floored with the grace that Beeb has shown.

She's a gem, that one.

Oh, and I'm jealous as hell that you got some good meds for your cold. I've been sick for three weeks and can't take anything worth taking, goddamnit. Lucky bitch.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I think you definately did the right thing - I think I would have had to be held back from marching down to the school and giving those bitches a piece of my mind.

You have obviously done a wonderful job with Beebie - she is showing so much confidence and class handling things the way she is.

Keep us posted!

Tactless Wonder said...

And this is 5th grade? Wow...We just got into fist-fights at my school...which isn't any better, but it didn't drag out...okay, maybe I'm a wee bit messed up. I mean, I did grow up to teach middle school (6th-8th grade).

Coming from the ex-teacher perspective? You rock. It really rankled when ANYONE messed with my students...I guess it was my inner momma bear or something. (Probably cuz I don't have any of my own.)

Much luck and strength to keep dealing with this situation. I hope it all gets better fast.

Wendy said...

You go, Mama Bear! Kick some snotty bitch butt! Damn - fifth grade?!?! That's just too young to be dealing with that kind of stuff. I feel bad for your little Beebs, but she's really lucky you're willing to stick your neck out like that for her. I hope she appreciates it ;).

SiressYorkie said...

I remember sh*t like this going on with the girls in my class in THIRD grade. I thought maybe I was just in with a nasty group of back stabbing whores (and I think they were that). But girls in general can be very, very cruel. It reminds me of her mentality sometimes, turning on the "weaker" one for whatever reason. I saw it happen with ducklings on the pond where we used to live: the other ducklings would just start attacking one for no particular reason. They musta sensed some unfavourable weakness...

When I hear about stuff like this, I always wonder the same thing: what the hell goes on in that home, that the girl a) knows such horrible language and how to be so threatening; b) why she's channeling so much hate; and c) if the only kind of friends she has are the girls who are afraid not to be her friends.

Evilina is headed for a difficult life, I think, whilst Beebie's is going to be a lot more successful. In England, bullying is against the law, and the kids (AND the parents) can be fined and/or hauled off to jail for it. Wish it were that way in my day...

Good on ya for following through, and good on Beebie for not showing fear.

Beverly said...

You are the BEST mom! You have handled this so well. I'm not sure I would have been so calm and articulate.

Ugh, I hated being young, as I was the object of ridicule for most of my pre-high school years. It's things like what happened to Beeb that make me a little afraid to have kids. Girls can be so cruel to each other.

shiguy4076 said...

I am so glad to hear that the school got so involved and is holding these girls responsible.

I wouldn't go bakc to middle school either if you payed me. Girls can me so vicious and conniving. Beebie needs to stay away from that Evilina she sounds awful.

ZantiMissKnit said...

If Beeb hadn't told you, and you hadn't brought it to the attention to the authorities, she would have learned how to "suffer in silence" which is MUCH WORSE than people thinking you're a tattletale. I'm glad she realizes that sometimes you need help from bigger folks.

Evilina needs to be kicked outta the fucking house like you did to Barbie. Every school seems to have the little shit-stirrer. Ugh.

Cindy in Happy Valley said...

I am more and more amazed by the depth of depravity shown by LITTLE kids? What makes this even remotely OK? What the hell are they going to be like as adults?

I suspect Evilina is going to be an executive director..... She's got the double speak down pat already.

SiressYorkie said...

Hey...if I couldn't pay you to go to Middle School again, could I maybe pay you for...Something Else??


Penny Karma said...

Oh, Yorkie, those boudoir pics I sent were a freebie. :)

Anonymous said...

As a third grade teacher, I can tell you, I'd rather have thirty little boys that haven't bathed in weeks than a class of all girls. They can be SO HATEFUL! Usually the moms don't believe their princesses have done anything at all.

Ed said...

My ghast has been flabered.

Terpsichore, Confusia said...

Anon, I'm totally with you. I would WAY rather have a room full of boys. They are far more direct. Instead of doing all the gossipy shit, they just punch each other and then they're fine.
When my daughter was in kindergarden, she had to wear a pair of shoes with a lift in one. Some of the little girls decided it would be fun to call her "Big Shoe." Never in my life have I wanted to kick some kindergarden ass like I did when i found out about that!!! You better believe I was at the school the next day!