A glimpse into the future.

You know when you look at the upcoming week on the calendar and wonder how in the world you accumulated that much shit to do in a short amount of time?

Today I have to go to Summer PSR registration. This is what I like to refer to as Minimum Heaven Requirements. We don't go to church but maybe 3 or 4 times a year (just lazy), then we go to a couple of MANDATORY goofy PSR workshops throughout the year (where they take attendance so they can pass the info up to St. Peter at the Gates). There was, for example, a workshop on the ten billion Saints they pray to/through, but it didn't explain why they pray to/through them, which totally irked me. Then we send our kids to get all their churchin' done over two weeks in the summer.

It would be one thing if this didn't cost me anything. But it's like $200 a kid. Of course, the alternative is to send them to Catholic school, but A) it's even more expensive, B) there's a waiting list, and C) just on principle, I wouldn't send them there even if it was free. I don't think we can afford to be Catholic anymore.

I don't know if I've ever gotten into it much on here, but I grew up a minister's daughter. I never wanted to convert when R and I got married, but R insisted, mainly to prove to (guess who?) FIL that I was for real and not just some random skank that his son knocked up. And for all the fuckin good it did me, I might as well have just remained Some Random Skank in his mind forever.

Oh, just as a tangential funny, last night R was making his weekly phone call home and his dad was bitching for ten hours about his cell phone service. Then when I asked R what he and his dad talked about, R mentioned that FIL was in a dispute with his cellular provider. God have mercy on that cellular provider.

R said, "Yeah, Dad basically said that (insert name of cellular provider) has him by the, uh, short and..."

STOP, R. NOW. NOT ANOTHER SYLLABLE.
That's a visual I SOOOOOOO do not need.

Anyway, so I have to truck my ass to PSR Registration tonight and somehow round up $600 so all three of my kids can go to Heaven. Yeah, I'm bitter.

Then tomorrow the kids have School Pictures. I have to do some laundry today so I can figure out what they can wear. Then after I drop Pie off at school, I have to take Tito for a Kindergarten Screening. That should be interesting. He lives in Pie's shadow so much, I almost think of the two of them as a unit. Tito's not as good a reader as Pie, but Pie's an excellent reader for his age, and Tito's really an excellent reader for his age, too. It's just that because their ages are less than a year apart, it's hard not to compare them as peers.

Wednesday I have to send Tito to school with an Easter Basket and 16 plastic eggs, each labeled with the name of one of the children in this class. Oh, and here's another random funny that you might like -

The kids in Tito's class were learning about Easter, and about how Jesus was in the tomb and then he was gone. So his clever teachers did a project which involved wrapping crescent roll dough around a marshmallow and baking it in the oven. The idea was that after it was done baking, the kids would peek inside and the marshmallow would, of course, be gone.

So the teacher was showing the class how the marshmallow was gone from the middle of the dough, just like Jesus was gone from the tomb. And my brilliant little smartass Tito yelled,

"JESUS MELTED!!!!!"

traumatizing the entire Pre-K class. Is it wrong to be proud?
I thought it was fuckin hysterical. Kinda like "Oh my God, you killed Kenny! You BASTARDS!"

Anyway, Wednesday morning I have Beebie's parent/teacher conference at 11:30 and I couldn't swing it so I could get hers and Pie's close together, so I have to truck my ass back up there for Pie's at 4:30.

Thursday I have to take Pie to his last swimming class - oh, and by the way, he has to miss a week of his awesome camp this summer. Why? Summer PSR.

Friday the kids are off school and R took the day off of work so we could go out to Chez Inlaw for the afternoon. The kids are looking forward to playing with their Wii, but R hasn't told them that it won't be opertaional when we go out there. FIL bought himself a big fat gigantic new TV and it's not hooked up yet. That means we might actually have to engage in conversation, and neither the Aldis nor the Lexi will be there for backup. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
God, I hope there's liquor.

The upside is that I will have been to the parent/teacher conferences by the time we go out there, and I'll be able to talk about whatever awesome things they're doing in school. The Aldi's won't be there, so it won't be nearly as much fun as telling them what geniuses my kids are while Aldigirl eats paste, but I take comfort in knowing that FIL will certainly pass the info along to them.

Saturday I have to take Tito to a birthday party, then I have to remember where I packed all of our summer clothes, because on Sunday we're leaving to spend a week in San Antonio with my parents.

I'm picking up my Xanax refill this evening.

It should be all right, it's gotten easier as the kids have gotten older. And this time, unlike last time, R will be coming too. I'm so glad. He and I could use some relaxing time together. One of the days I think we're going to Austin - so if you're in Austin and want to say hello to me, R and the Apes, let me know. And I think we'll go to Fredericksburg and maybe even the thriving metropolis of Leukenbach. I keep saying I'll get a t-shirt from there and the last time they didn't have the one I wanted in my size.

But then, maybe after a few days at my parents' house with no snacks, nothing but low fat, low carb, low calorie in the whole place I'll drop a few. I swear to God, a week at my parents' house is like Fat Camp.

I won't be able to make a trip to Yarntopia this time, and I'm quite bummed out about that, but my mom did say she'd take me to one of the shops in Austin and I know there's another one in Fredericksburg, so my vacation won't be completely devoid of yarny goodness. Plus there's Yarn Barn in San Antonio and another shop that was about to open the last time I was there. I forget the name of it. I'll have to check that one out too. If I have to go to the World War II museums with R and my dad, they're coming with me for SEX at the LYS.

Oh, Sweet Christ, that's a visual NOBODY needed.

I'm sorry.