Friday, July 06, 2007

Sedalia, BABY!!!

This year the great city of Sedalia, Missouri had the dubious honor of being the Wacky Destination for our now-annual 4th of July Adventure Day. Last year, you may recall, we went to Sikeston, Missouri and had lunch at Lambert's, then we trekked over to Metropolis, Illinois and even tried to find Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky. This year, it was all about Sedalia.

Why Sedalia, you ask? Mostly because of Rachele's wistfully nostalgic post about the Wheel-Inn Drive In, soon to be part of Americana History. Well, we're into driving ridiculous distances for a good meal, so we went.

Really, we didn't go just for the Wheel-Inn. We also went to see Katy Station for Tito, my little train nut. It was a quite impressive building which is now a museum and a station along the famous MKT bike trail. We were bummed that it was closed for Independence Day, but we saw enough of it to know that a return trip is warranted.

So from there, we went to Bothwell Lodge State Historic Site. I was kinda hoping it would be more like Ha Ha Tonka, but it was worth a peek. They offered hour-long tours for $6.50. I had neither the cash nor the attention span for that. But it was cool-lookin' from the outside!

Next, we went to The Wheel-Inn. And we saw Paris Hilton!

(Ok, not really.)

Here are the apes at the Wheel-Inn. The window art behind Beebie's head refers to the Wheel-Inn's famous burger. The specialty of the house is the GuberBurger, which is a burger with lettuce, tomato, mayo, and peanut butter on it. Yes, I tried it. Yes, it was actually really good.

And then we went to the Art Museum, which was closed, but I thought this sculpture outside of it was pretty cool.

So that's pretty much our trip to Sedalia.

If that's not enough excitement for you, let me bring you up to date on some of the other recent happenings at Chez K. Be warned, I skip around and it's all kinda random and the topics are only minimally related. Screw it, I'm too tired to make it coherent.

Pie had the BEST time at his camp. He got to go ice skating, and he loved it.

They also did kayaking, yoga, tennis, swimming, bicycling, crafts, cooking - all kinds of stuff. I'm so glad I agreed to let him go. It was great for him.

Beeb went to PSR that week too (aka Insanity Week, remember?) and we were supposed to go to the mass on the last day. Pie asked me if we had to go and sit there and "watch church like at Easter". I said, well, it will be kids doing most of the talking, and Beeb will be singing in the choir. And Pie said, "Ok, but is the one guy in the dress who repeats himself going to be there?" I assumed he meant the priest.

Beeb's 10th birthday party is approaching. Here's the invitation I came up with. I put a Hogwarts Coat of Arms on Ivory resume paper:

The Board of Governors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Cordially requests your presence at a celebration in honour of
Beebie Karma's Tenth Birthday
(Ms. Karma, as you may know, is a Distant Cousin of Hermione Granger’s).

Come by Knight Bus , Flying Car, Floo Network or Nimbus 2000
to *insert address of the movie theater*
(Slightly SouthEast of The Leaky Cauldron).

We will be attending the 9:30AM showing of
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
Pick up at 1:00PM at nearby Ice Cream Shop.

RSVP via Owlpost to Associate Headmistress Cerulean Karmus.
Muggles know her as Sarah Karma, but her powers eclipse those of mere mortals.

I think I'll change my name to Cerulean. That's hot, in a Magician's Assistant kind of way. It's a little classier and more mysterious than a stripper name. I mean, isn't it?

I couldn't believe how hard it was to find Harry Potter party stuff. I had found a whole bunch of stuff several months ago in a clearance bin. I got plates, napkins, a banner, and Harry Potter glasses, but they didn't have invitations. So yesterday I went searching and found the very last packet of thank-you notes in the entire city, and to make invitations out of them, I got an Exacto-knife and cut away the part that said Thank You. I think they look fantastic.

Tito thinks the movie is called Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis, by the way. I can't get that out of my head, and I personally think it's way too funny for me to correct him. I'm sure it's already an official porn title by now, like when they come up with some pervy derivative of a famous movie, like Edward Penishands or Shaving Ryan's Privates or whatever. Now WHY can't I get a job like that - coming up with pervy derivatives of famous movie titles? I'd be awesome at that gig.

Tito is now four and a half. He'd been reminding us for the week or so leading up to it that his half-birthday was coming up. I seriously think he was expecting clowns and a damn petting zoo or something. So instead, I came up with an idea for a party that I knew he would hate, just to see if his desire for a party would outweigh his disdain for a particular vegetable.

We're having a Green Bean party. He hates green beans. We're going green party utensils, I'm knitting green bean shaped beanbags for the games, we're singing green bean carols (that was Pie's idea, brilliant), and for a cake we're going to do a sheet cake with a Twinkie on top, covered in green icing to look like a green bean. Tito gets really pissed off whenever we talk about the green bean party. He wants nothing to do with it. It'll be postponed until I can get the knitting part done. I set it down somewhere and now I can't find it.

Last Saturday was a free child care night at a church near us. I signed the kids up. I mean, it could have been at the First Evangelical Church of the High Priest of Satan and I'd probably still have signed them up. Ok, not really, but hello - free child care!! R and I hadn't gone to dinner together in probably over a year, because child care costs easily add about $40-$50 to the evening's tab. You bet your ASS I signed up for free child care.

So, the day before the event, my cool friend Anti-Stella called me:

Hey, did you call a church about free child care?
Well, that's actually at my church... (NOTE: For a second, I thought she meant that she signed up first and she was actually telling me that the Apes couldn't come) and I'm running it!
Wow! Cool!
By the way, when you called, did you ask about security and whether or not there would be a nurse on site, stuff like that?
Um, no...(thinking maybe I should have)
Yeah, I didn't think that sounded like your kind of question at all.

She was right. All I needed to hear was FREE CHILD CARE, and when I'm supposed to drop them off and pick them up. I love Anti-Stella, and not just for the fact that she didn't think I was a crappy mom for not asking those questions that a normal parent who actually cared about their kid might have asked. I thought the whole conversation was just hilarious, but my mom, when I told her about it, most emphatically did not.

R and I went to P.F. Chang's and had an absolutely lovely dinner, then we checked out the Lush store at the Galleria, and I got two of their shampoo bars, a big chunk of conditioner, smelly soap, facial scrubby cleanser, a mask and a massage bar. I can't remember all the fancyshit names of it, though.

Oh, and I forgot - last week R got that righteous AutoTeamaker from Teavana, AND on Sunday I got a darling little cast iron teapot for $10 because I talked the estate sale people down from $25!! And I'm sure that means absolutely nothing to anyone but me, but he and I were totally effin giddy over our new tea stuff.

Remember when I had the swollen uvula and I drank an assload of peppermint tea? And remember how prone I am to strange ailments and bizarre accidents, like the time I accidentally sprayed hairspray on my Southern Coiffe? Who can forget? Well, about two weeks ago I went to Urgent Care with my left eye a bright shade of pink. They gave me eyedrops for Pinkeye and sent me home.

After a week, it was better, so I put my contacts in and my eye freaked out and turned redder than before. So I went to my eye doctor. Only my regular hottie smartass eye doctor wasn't there. The doctor I saw reminded me of the creepy professor I had when I went to French Immersion Camp at Indiana State University for two weeks in 11th grade. (Go ahead and laugh, I was a geek.)

Turns out I have a corneal ulcer. AN ULCER. IN MY EYE.

Apparently, there's no room for any more stress anywhere else in my body, so it had to manifest itself in my EYEBALL - how completely wrong is that? When I look reeeeally closely, I can see it. It looks like a tiny white speck on my otherwise stunning blue/green/grey iris. I'll see if I can get a picture.

So anyway, French Professor eye doctor gave me some different drops and I have to go back on Tuesday. I wonder if Dr. Hottie Smartass will be there. I tend to relate well to smartass hotties. The world is so unkind to us.

Oh, I almost forgot! I owe you a picture of my faboo Larue hat. Check it out. I think it actually makes my ass look smaller.

And it also makes free Grant's Farm Beer yummier.

And, finally, tomorrow night we're going to watch fireworks at Chez Inlaw. Remember what happened last year? Tito got lost after the fireworks and scared the living crap out of me. I'm going to cuff him to my wrist this time, unless he acts like a jerk, in which case if he got lost I'd be like, "Tito who??".

It'll be the first time I've talked to FIL since the phone call (detailed in my last post) that left me in tears. I actually hope he asks about the house hunt. I'd certainly love to get my two cents in and see if he tries to change my mind. He's in for a fight, because I refuse to back down.

It's all about the Power Panties, y'all.

Perhaps I'll wear my Wonder Woman panties over them, just for emphasis. Yes, that's it - I'll double-bag my snatch, just in case I should suddenly sprout a pair of actual cajones down there (which, quite frankly, wouldn't surprise me, given my history of strange medical emergencies) instead of just the metaphorical ones I call upon when I have to do brave stuff.

I've got pure concentrated stress coming out my EYE, for feck's sake, people. Seriously.


cpurl17 said...

Aww. I can see your children are growing up, sniff! but so sweet.

And yes, that hat makes your butt look thinner.

Batty said...

Cool buildings, a Harry Potter-themed birthday party and free beer? Can I come live with you people?

Carol said...

Hmm, I don't htink it would have occurred to me to ask about a nurse and secrutiy either. Seems a tad paranoid. I always thought the idea was to have a responsible adult around who could CALL said people if needed. does that make me a bad person?

Bezzie said...

I agree with Cpurl! Your boys look so huge!

Ha ha, I remember your Sikeston trip last year. We missed each other by a day or two. We spent the first night moving to Texas there.

Love the invite. Beeb's a lucky girl getting to bring all her friends to that movie.

P.S. I'm adopting that Order of the Penis title. I've always called him Harry Pooper anyway...this just makes it better.

Poops said...

I'm still laughing out loud like a mental person at "southern coiffe".

I love you so much it hurts. I don't even know what the rest of the post was about...

ZantiMissKnit said...

my friend Barry and I used to make up alternaporn titles for current movies. The only one I can recall right now is "Jizz Show" (for "Quiz Show"). If I think of more, I'll come back!

The Soapy Knitter said...

Funny, funny, funny!! I love the Power Panties. I've filed it for Future Use (quoting your Brilliance of course!).

BTW, the thought of you sprouting "cajones" cracked me up even more. Imagine you walking around with two HUGE boxes between your legs....Heh!