Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Here's a question for you -

If you could commit a crime and never get caught,
what would it be?


I heard it asked on the Tyra Banks show once - Tyra asked it of Queen Latifah, whose answer was Tax Evasion. And I thought about what my answer would be.

I'll admit, the odd homicidal thought entered my mind. There are some people I know that I'd be really happy to never deal with again. I could probably name ten off the top of my head. But today, I decided what crime I would commit if I knew I'd never get busted for it.

Assuming it hasn't been done already, I would deflower Daniel Radcliffe. He's still a minor for a few more days.

Note: I would have gotten away with the crime of watching the Tyra Banks show, had I not just confessed.

Today was Beeb's birthday party. We had it early because on Friday she goes to Texas for a week and we didn't want to have to wait to see it. I took Beeb and three of her friends to see the 9:30am showing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis - errr - Phoenix.

In addition to my clever invitations that I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I purchased a Big Ass Bag of jelly beans and separated them out into bags that I then decorated with the words Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans. I think the girls will be glad I didn't get the ones with flavors like vomit, ear wax, and dirt.

I also purchased frog-shaped candy molds and chocolate to melt so we could make our own Chocolate Frogs. That was fun. So we got good treats and I got Harry Potter glasses for all of the girls too. I ROCK at theme parties.

During the movie, I found myself distracted by the number of knitted items worn by the characters. I was particularly fond of Luna Lovegood's blue capelety thing, except I couldn't tell if it was knitted or crocheted. Beeb and R both thought it was absolutely creepy that I noticed all the sweaters and hats and all.

I was also distracted by Sirius Black's incredible sexiness. Not many men could pull off that look, with the long curls and the wine-colored cloak. So romantic, I think I may have swooned.

And something about Severus Snape is wickedly sexy too. It may be his voice. I'd love to hear him speak the words:

Sarah, dearest, I've always loved you.

Fancy a shag?

Yippie-ka-yay-muthahfuck.


and, of course,

Darling, do you think you have enough yarn?

And I wouldn't mind being on the receiving end of his discipline.

Ok, that was totally TMI. I'm sorry.



Definitely, definitely TMI.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE JIMBO!!!!!

11 comments:

Poops said...

Oh, I am so with you on Snape. Alan Rickman makes my socks roll up and down. All he'd have to do is read the phone book and the next thing you'd hear is the sound of my panties sliding to the floor.

And I'm not sure, but I think DR has already been deflowered. I could Google it for you...

Amy said...

Oh, not TMI at all! I blogged some similar...er...emotions just yesterday. I think Snape has the best voice ever. That Alan Rickman is way cool. Did you ever see him in Truly Madly Deeply or Die Hard?

Trillian42 said...

Seriously, when the hell did Daniel Radcliffe go from adorable little tyke to total jailbait? It's bad enough that I was drooling over Oliver Wood and Cedric Diggory, but now Harry, too?

And yeah... Alan Rickman has one of THOSE voices. The kind you want to hear from the pillow next to yours. Yum.

Elizabeth said...

I'm sure Daniel Radcliffe has had his first by now.

One time, Owen bought the Bertie Bott's Beans they sell in stores and actually did get a vomit one. He never ate them again. He had been quite careful with each one, checking the coloring against the key on the package, and thought he was getting something innocent, like coconut. Big mistake.

Have a great time in TX!

AuntieJimbo said...

OH MY GOD THAT'S YOU in the dominatrix outfit I bought you!

Seriously, I had every single thought that you just listed, but no Tyra Banks. Even about Snape! Holy Jesus. I imagined myself using my wand to push CHo out of the way so I could waggle my tongue in Harry Potter's mouth.

cpurl17 said...

Another Alan Rickman fan. Sigh. He could make me do very naughty things. (YEah. As if he'd want to)

Bezzie said...

Well Snapey-poo WAS the voice of God in Dogma, so I can see where you might swoon.

buttercup said...

I'm so glad we're all coming out of the "Damn! Snape is hot" closet. Alan Rickman - um um um ummm ummmm. I think I fell for him in Die Hard and then the flames really got fanned when I saw Sense and Sensability. Ohhh my!

Haven't seen the movie yet but when DR was on EXTRAS, playing with a condom, all I could think was "I'll show you how to use that honey."

Ed said...

I said this on OLPP's blog and I'll say it here too.
DR is only a young lad and I think you're all perverts ;)

SiressYorkie said...

I still think he looks like a weasel.

My punishment-free crime would be a massive killing spree. I have an extensive list of people who just need to be slaughtered for the good of the planet and the gene pool.

Kevin said...

I can't say whether DR is deflowered or not, though I kind of think he is, but I DO know that he was appearing naked nightly on stage in the Broadway production of Equus. How's THAT grab ya?