Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why I Blog.

I love blogs. I love writing this blog. I love reading blogs.

I read blogs for many reasons. I read the funny ones, the inspiring ones, the ones that show the amazing things someone with mad skillz can make with yarn. I love displays of creativity and craftiness. I love people articulately expressing opinions, whether I agree with them or not.

I read blogs that make me feel normal. The ones where moms want to pop other people's kids upside the head. The ones where people want to tell their bosses to fuck off. I feel less bad about hating certain types of people when I see that other people hate them too. It's comforting to know that I'll have someone to sit next to in Hell.

I suppose that's why I write, too. I put it all out there because I'm an external affirmation whore and I need other people to tell me that I'm normal, or, at least, that I'm the kind of abnormal that's fun and entertaining and not totally creepy.

I also write because I'm cheap. And when I unload a ton of heavy emotional shit on you like I did last time, I almost feel guilty. I'm saving a ton of money in therapy bills. Just so you know, I'm saving it for my kids' therapy fund.

Speaking of The Apes, I blog because I want to remember the wacky shit that my kids do (which reminds me, I need to share a poem that Pie wrote), and I like to look back over my posts from the year before and see how I've grown as a parent.

I blog because I loooove feeling like I this blog is a really big secret and only the coolest people can know about it. I like knowing that people who have never met me know what panties I'm wearing to my Inlaws', and want to know how much butter I'm putting in my desserts. I've even gotten butter-intensive recipes from readers. That's so cool.

I write to entertain, to inform, and to purge myself of all the profane rants that percolate inside of me. I blog to avoid some of the realities of my life (like housework) by confronting and sharing other realities of my life (like depression).

Which brings me, tangentially, to why I'm blogging today:

The honeymoon is over. I need to find a job.

Remember the last time I looked for a job? Here's an excerpt from my post from March 26, 2007.

"Friday I had my second interview at Vandelay Industries downtown, so I figured R and my parents could take the kids to the City Museum just down the street and I could meet them afterwards. I felt great about the interview. Here's one of the highlights. I'm paraphrasing, of course -

So, tell us a little about yourself, Penny!

Well, for the last six years I've been a stay-at-home mom, but I'd always planned to go back to work when my youngest started Kindergarten. So this opportunity has come up a year earlier than I'd expected to go back to work, but I decided that I'd rather pursue it now rather than wait until it was the ideal time and hope that there was a good job available, cuz I'd really prefer not to go back to retail... I mean, there's nothing wrong with retail, but I'm 36 years old and I'm kinda too old to be folding jeans for a living... I did my time at The Gap ten years ago... I mean, if there's a Jean-Folding Emergency, I'm your man. Just a little sumthin' extra I'm bringin' to the table...

I assure you, if I hadn't gotten the inside information that what was keeping me in the running for this job was not so much my work experience but rather my youthful exuberance, I probably wouldn't have said all that, but I opted to just go ballz out and be my lil ol' effervescent self. And I think it went well. The interviewers laughed at my jokes this time. When I arrived, the girl I'd be working with actually told me that this interview would be informal and that they just wanted some more people in the office to meet me. I took it as a good sign.

Anyway, after the interview I was to walk to The City Museum to meet R, my parents, and the Apes. On the map, it doesn't look it was that far from where my interview was. In reality, it's about fifteen city blocks. Not a big deal, I've walked farther than that, I wasn't worried about it. But then it started to rain. No problem, I had an umbrella.

Cut to a shot of me walking down the street in the rain with a broken umbrella. In heels. For fifteen blocks. The good news? I was wearing my Power Panties."

I didn't get the job. I didn't care.

I don't want a job. I have a job. My job is being here in case anybody needs me. I have gotten used to setting my own schedule, for the most part, and answering to no one but me. Since going on bed rest when I was pregnant with Pie, I have been a stay at home mom. This is the first time I've had more than a couple of hours to myself during the day in eight years. I rather like it.

And, in a way, I feel I've earned a sabbatical. The way I see it, I've banked all of the fifteen minute breaks people who have regular 40-hour a week jobs get in an eight-hour workday and I'm opting to take them as a lump sum.

Then there's the fact that I really, REALLY hate writing resumes and cover letters. It's depressing. I hate reducing three years of work experience into a single sentence. I hate trying to summarize myself. I never know what to say. I don't feel like I come across accurately in summary form. I'm way too complex.

I hate seriousness and formality. It's not Me. I don't interview well. I get really flustered and I feel like they can tell how uncomfortable I am. If they had an open bar at a job interview, they'd hire me in half a second.  But then I'd probably slip and say, "Oh, I should tell you about my blog!"

I wish I could put Pevely Flea Market Costume Contest Winner 2006, 2007, and 2008 on my resume. If they're not impressed by that, then I don't want to work for them.

Yeah, we skipped Pevely this year.  BUT, we're going to Trunk or Treat on Friday, and this year's costumes are some of the best I've ever done.  There will be pictures. 

Oh, here's a good pic of The Green Dress, before we left for the Reunion.

Should I wear it to my interview? 


elspeth said...

So you never did mention why you need a job - is it the money? I'm in the same boat as you - SAHM for a number of years, ready to get back to "real life". I hope you find something great!

Kimknits said...

Right there with you - I even liked working but have stayed home for mumble mumble years. We'd been talking about me going back to work next spring but the big guy decided I should start looking now.

Even though I know they will get easier with practice I hate, hate, hate writing cover letters. And I really hate that after this many years, I'm not competitive in this market for the jobs I want and having an administrative assistant doesn't qualify me to become one.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. I think I'll start looking for my own pair of power panties.

Kev said...

Just remember - you were not *just* a stay at home mom (which is quite a noble, if unappreciated occupation). You were a:

Domestic Engineer
Household Manager
On-Call Rescue Service

I know there are more.

Don Newbury said...

I also hate the whole process of looking for a job. Like you said, if they would have it over a cup of coffee or something then they would see the real me, not some frigging self-conscious robot. I just want to go to the interview and say, "Listen, you need help, I need a job. Whatever I don't know I will learn. What do you say?"

By the way, you look great in the last picture you posted. Your better half is a lucky man.

Batty said...

OK, I don't have any kids. But my SIL has 4. We had a family reunion type thing where we shared a house with her, her husband, and the 4 boys. If anyone ever says there's such a thing as "just" a stay at home mom... dude. My work day ends at 5. Hers goes from 6 am till 11 pm. If I had to do this, they'd be putting me in a coat with sewn-together sleeves.

And you manage to be funny on top of chasing kids. You're awesome.

Kashmir Knitter said...

I'm right there with you, my youngest started kindergarten this year too but the schedule is lame so I have until NEXT year when she and her brother are on the same schedule. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I never had a job that lasted longer than a few months. The worst is people keep asking me when I'm going to go back to work. Uh, I've been working 24 hours a day for 8 years, come on!

I wish you lived nearby, we could maybe put off work for another year by taking some classes, it would be like Community only actually funny.

The Beautiful Kind said...

I love you, Penny Karma.

We are kindred spirits.

I hate the resume cover letter stuff, too. The formality, being on good behavior. You need to turn it into a game. Note: I've been playing the game for a year now.

I love that green dress, you make a dashing couple.