Insanity Week, Day Three

I want you all to know that I have managed my priorities. A crazy week won't keep me from watching my shows.

Monday on Hell's Kitchen, Jen almost served spaghetti that she retrieved from the trash (or as Chef calls it, "the bin"), but Julia the Waffle House cook stopped her. I give Jen credit for admitting her mistake to Chef when she otherwise may have gotten away with it, but there's the Five-Second Rule (which I fully advocate) and then there's George Costanza picking the eclair out of the trash, YICK! I thought that Jen should have been sent home along with Joanna, who was a bit of a diva and not a team player.

Julia teared up when the girls' team found out they were serving breakfast to the Army, while Joanna giddily informed the audience about how much she likes guys in uniforms. That just kinda summed up Joanna's motivation, and it made me want to see Julia the underdog kick everyone's ass. And while I didn't want to see Aaron get sick, I did want to see him leave. All in all, it was quite a stellar episode.


And then last night was America's Got Talent.

Meet Boy Shakira, y'all.

This isn't last night's performance, but here's Boy Shakira in action.

I have mixed feelings about Boy Shakira. I give him a 10 for entertainment value, but talent? In my definition, if my 5-year-old son could put on a fringed bra and a curly blonde wig and skip like a jackass from one end of the stage to the other without one minute of practice and do your act just as well as you can, then it's not a talent. But that's just me.

That said, there were some brilliant performers last night. There was a ventriloquist whose puppet sang EXACTLY like Etta James. There was a magician who appeared to accidentally drop the head of a miniature Charlie Chaplin dummy he was building inside a box, and then the dummy magically turned into a real dude! That was wild!

I also enjoyed Butterscotch the BeatBox girl, the guy who could break stuff with his butt (hey, I break stuff with my butt too - when I sit on a rickety chair) and Kashif who danced like Napoleon Dynamite in an oxford shirt and khakis. But my absolute favorite was Cas Haley. He sang Walking on the Moon, and Piers said he sang it better than Sting. I found Cas's MySpace page, via Google - give him a listen.

Anybody else watching Pirate Master? I'm about to give up on it.

Pie is LOVING his camp. Today was Tennis, and tomorrow is Kayaking and Mud Day. Doesn't that sound like a blast? Meanwhile, at Summer PSR, Beebie was one of six kids chosen to sing in front of the whole church! She was so excited, she didn't even notice when we asked her if the music director was deaf. And Tito got a bike for $10 at Goodwill today, so he was happy.

This Saturday is the Hometown Parade that goes right in front of our house. So, this afternoon I performed my yearly yardwork so that the entire town doesn't think we're a bunch of schleps. The only thing I suck at more than housework is yardwork. I was trimming the front hedge (for the first time since the last parade), and I got stung on the thumb by a wasp. See if I ever do yardwork again. I'll show that wasp. Nyaah!!

This Saturday is also a baby shower for the wife of one of R's cousins. She's cool. It's going to require some creativity on my part to let the kids watch the parade and then drop them off at the sitter and get to the shower, because they shut down the streets and I won't be able to get my car out. I'm carpooling with MIL, Aunt Huggy, her daughter, Mrs. Aldi, and hopefully Aunt Drama. I will certainly let you know if anything interesting occurs. I've got my fingers crossed for a Mrs. Aldi wardrobe atrocity.

There's a ton of other shit going on, I just can't remember it all. I still have to give a proper update with photos from the Rendezvous at Fort Des Chartres and other such noteworthy events.

Beeb's going to visit Nana and PopPop again for a week in July, like last summer. She's excited. And I need to start planning her birthday party soon. She wants to take her friends to the Harry Potter movie for her party. I think I can swing that. But 50% of the guest list is comprised of her friends The Triplets, so their availability, obviously, is key.

As far as upcoming summer plans, I'm hoping to make a trip out to the Drive-In soon, but each of the double features include a movie that sucks, and I'm not willing to settle. I'm also hoping to go to the Stitch N' Pitch thing in August but I want a pal to go with. Any volunteers? I'll buy you some nachos or something. And I'll try not to embarrass you in public.

I can't type anymore. My thumb hurts.