Get comfortable - we've got a lot to cover.

I'm waaaaay behind on Blogstalking, so let's jump right in, beginning with Week 6's assignment - A Day in My Life.

First of all, there is NO such thing as a typical day in my life. There are some things that I do pretty much every day, but very rarely do I have two similar days in a row. And that's how I like it.

The first thing I do every day, as soon as I get out of bed, is make the bed. It's really the only thing I'm anal about.


I absolutely LOVE this bed.


I take a shower every day. The nudie pic comes later, pervs.



Post-Shower, in my fluffy pink robe.



And then I walk into my walk-in closet to pick out my ensemble. I'm still organizing in there, but you'll notice the picture Pie drew of me for Mother's Day last year.



Here's what I'm wearing today.



I didn't make the sweater, but I love to wear beautiful knit sweaters around people who know I knit, just so they can assume I made them. Tee hee!

Here's my entry for the current Week 8 assignment - What's For Breakfast? A Caffeine-Free Diet Coke. Or sometimes a Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi. Whichever's on sale.



Then I ask my favorite ubersexy weatherman boyfriend Glenn what the weather's going to be like today.



And I check the time.



Then I walk Beebie down our beautiful tree-lined street to her bus stop. And I wave wildly like a crazy person, just to embarrass her. Such fun.



So now it's just me and the boys hanging out until 12:45. What to do, what to do...?

Well, I guess I could clean my bedroom.



Or Beeb's room.



Or the basement.



Screw it, I'm gonna dick around on Knitty for a while.



I need to put some clean laundry away. Most of it goes upstairs to the boys' room.



So I'll clean the boys' room.



Two hours later, it's pretty much as good as it's gonna get. Notice the bins are even labeled!



Oh, shit - I almost forgot to take Pie to school.



So now I'm hangin out with Tito until Beebie and Pie get home. I think we'll go to Hobby Lobby. Where they DON'T sell size 9 wooden DPN's, FYI.



So then I hang out with Tito, maybe take a nap or play a game or watch a Thomas DVD or something. Or maybe we'll take silly pictures of my bellybutton. My bellybutton's name is Neville McNavel.



I was gonna do A Day In the Life of Neville, but it didn't come out as clever as I wanted. My bellybutton looks weird because of the vertical scar under it from my gallbladder surgery and the fact that I have a tattoo right above it, behind Neville's eyes. And I'm not even going to mention the stretch marks. I certainly hope that seeing my bellybutton makes you feel better about yours.

Back to the story - big kids come home, and Pie shows me his homework.



It says "I showed perseverance when I made comic books." Only it kinda looks like Comic Boobs. Which, obviously, is WAY funnier.

Next I'll start dinner, and we'll eat at the dining room table I scored for FREE on Craigslist!!





And if you've made it all the way through this post, here's your reward. GRATUITOUS NUDITY, as promised.


That's my Week 7 - The Oldest Pic of Yourself You Can Find. I think I'm about two years old there. Same impish grin, though, ain't it? ;)

Blogstalking #2

Purse Guts!

What's in your purse? What do you carry around with you everywhere you go? What must you have available to you at all times?

Knitting, lip gloss, a camera (obviously not pictured), and Xanax.
The rest is all trash, pretty much.




I shall point out the more interesting of my purse's contents.

The pink thing is the Knowknits pouch which houses my portable knitting projects when I'm not working on them in the parent pick-up line at school. At the moment I'm not happy with my current project but I'm not going to start over. I'm stubborn like that.

Next to it is a map of Grant's Farm, like I need one. I think one of the Apes gave it to me to hold because for some reason they always insist on picking one up when we enter. I'm pretty sure I could navagate the place blindfolded.

Near the bottom is my bottle of Xanax. I haven't taken one since the day I wrecked the car, which was two weeks ago today. It seems like longer, doesn't it? It's been a zany two weeks, fer shure.

There's a Mary Englebreit calendar so I can keep track of my demanding social life.

For some reason I carry my Science Center membership packet including parking passes and free Omnimax movie tickets in my purse, just in case I should want to swing by there on a whim.

I always carry a little notebook. I've done it forever. I love to write down gift ideas when I'm out shopping. I jot down funny things Pie says. Plus, it often comes in handy when we're waiting somewhere and the kids are bored. If you don't carry a little notebook with you, try it. You might be amazed at how often you use it.

Another thing I almost always have with me which you can't see is my camera, and extra batteries in case they die when I absolutely have to take a picture of something. And when I don't have a camera, I have a camera in my phone. I love technology.

Keys, sunglasses, makeup bag, Coca Cola lids (which will be entered at My Coke Rewards for free Blockbuster movies), and receipts make up the rest of my purse guts.

I wonder what Ed's going to do for this assignment.


Oh, and if you didn't see the 5pm update on yesterday's post, please take a moment.


In other news, as I try to keep my mind off of my duplicate title application's long long journey to the Capital City, I should thank Sherry (aka knitting-cat) for bailing me out of the Kureyon 139 bind I found myself in!

I had actually ordered some online, and when I didn't receive it after 11 days, I called to see what the deal was. Well, apparently they were out of it and, as I already knew, it's been discontinued. So Sherry's going to trade me, and my No Buying Yarn Since February Diet is still intact!

Just Who Is Penny Karma Anyway?

I have joined with several other Knittys (plus belovED) and will be participating in the webring called Blogstalking. Blogstalking with other knitters (and non-knitters) is one of the things I love most about blogging. And I probably wouldn't blog if I didn't knit (even though I don't usually blog about knitting), mainly because the knitters were the only ones to read it for a while, when I first came upon the Coffeeshop scene. So I guess it's one of the things I love most about the fact that I know how to knit, too.

Anyway, to explain Blogstalking for those who may be unfamiliar, each week there's a new assignment, and the idea is to post pics of whatever the assignment was, and then stalk other people's blogs to see what they did for the assignment. This week's challenge was a great way for the participants to introduce themselves: to create a post that answers the question, "WHO AM I?"

Well, if you read my blog with any regularity, you'd know this was a complex question for me to answer, especially in photos. I mean, I'm a wife, mom (which of course means nurse, chauffeur, referee, chef, etc.), daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, recovering caffeine addict, aspiring dominatrix, disastrous finanical-mismanager, insatiable flirt, anxiety-plagued insomniac, emotional overeater, evil genius, snarkmistress, and all-around badass.

Oh, and I knit, too. I've got a lot on my plate.

And three weeks from today, I'll be able to add HOMEOWNER to my list of titles. But only days ago I became... a van driver.





So just to be different, instead of showing you who I am, I thought it might be fun to document a few things that I am NOT.

Unlike OLPP, I am NOT a big fan of the ironing (Kathy, girl, I love ya like you can't believe, but that is SERIOUSLY fucked up). I don't know if R has seen me use an iron, like, ever. This one has been in my basement untouched for the last three years.





Yes, that is dust on my ironing board.

Additionally, I am NOT patient. But I do carry a lil project with me everywhere I go so I actually kinda look forward to situations where I have to wait. I also always have a camera with me, so I can capture little funnies when I see them. Such as...

Dontcha just love that Used Car Smell??



Here's me waiting for the paperwork to go through on the van.



I hate my chin. And my hair. And my presciption sunglasses.

I have some self-loathing issues. I attribute these issues to the fact that part of me will always be in Seventh Grade - my distorted body image, awkwardness, insecurity, longing for acceptance, and constant self-criticism are an ongoing presence in my life, and probably always will be. As a grown-up I'm able to play it off my social ineptitude as a Fuck The World attitude. And I can usually shut my inner seventh grader up with a cupcake or something.

It's kinda funny that I am a total perfectionist, yet I am NOT organized (I wish I were more organized, perhaps then I wouldn't be waiting for my duplicate car title to come in the mail... grrrrr). The one exception is my weekly dinner menu calendar.



Yes, Bezzie, that's a Cooter Rootin' Appointment on the 26th. Sign me up for KAYE!!

It's not a testiment to my organizational skills, it's really more a product of my frugality. I try to go grocery shopping as little as possible, and when I take the time to look in the fridge and the pantry and make note of all I have, I realize I can easily make it to the next paycheck without having to buy anything more than the staples of milk and bread.

Occasionally I do deviate from the menu, but generally, it helps me remember (usually) to thaw the meat the night before, and I don't forget about the meat in the fridge for so long it goes bad and gets wasted. I hate wasting food. Obviously, looking at my ass, it's clear that not a lot of food gets tossed out of Chez Karma.

See, there's my inner seventh grader again.
Shut up, Skank! Here, have a Twinkie...