A Major Award!

Remember how resolute I was about sticking with scarves? Well, I timidly announce that I will, very soon, be taking on something more challenging. Why, you ask? Because I threw my hat in the ring for a contest on Turtlegirl's blog. In order to win the Grande Prize - some beautiful angora yarn (wut smellz like da bunniez) that she spun herself - participants were asked to give one good reason why they should be the winner.

We've discussed my competitive nature.

I, in my zeal to win something, offered up the following entry:

I will, so f*ckin help me, make something other than a scarf... preferably something just beyond my advanced beginner status... and then I will, for as long as it takes, document my progress (or lack thereof) on my blog until I either finish it or go crazy trying. Either way, I guarantee it will be fun to read. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving.

Pick me!

Sweet Turtlegirl viewed this opportunity to let her handiwork become an instrument of learning, and I was thrilled to be named the winner. And then I thought, OH SHIT.

Turtlegirl chose this pattern from the current issue of Knitty. It's called Ice Queen.



There are several elements to this pattern that will be new territory for me.

1. Lace. Lace and I, historically, do not get along. I wish I had taken a picture of Foliage before I frogged it, but seriously, I was too embarrassed by it to post it. And you've all seen the shit I'm NOT embarrassed to post but probably should be.

2. Beads. Like I have the time, patience and manual dexterity to deal with THAT.

3. Dear God, not the Chart! Charts give me a headache just looking at them.

4. And the element which will I will have to learn most immediately: The Provisional Cast On. I've never been able to master this technique, and, as a result, have passed over any pattern that requires it. I'll love what the finished item looks like in the picture, then read over the Materials... Yeah, I got that, got that.... What? Provisional Cast-On? Crap. Forget it. The pattern links to a tutorial, so maybe I'll be okay, but if the first picture I post is one of me curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth and sucking my thumb, don't be alarmed.

Folks, this blog's going to get really interesting really quick. And Muggles, fear not. I know a lot of the faithful Beholders of my dubious Brilliance aren't knitters.

But, knitter or not, if you enjoy the schadenfreude of watching someone of reasonable intelligence make an utter ass of herself, Santa's comin' early.

Y'all are in for a fuckin' treat.


I'm so glad I have the NC-17 language warning label.