100 Nifty Things About Penny Karma

Not that you asked, but:

Here are 100 things about me, in no particular order.

1. I was born on January 13, in the 1970's.
2. in Columbus, Ohio.
3. I grew up in St Louis, MO with my dad, mom and younger sister.
4. I am in dire need of a manicure.
5. And a pedicure.
6. I know all of the words to "The Humpty Dance"
7. And "Hey Ladies"
8. And "Baby Got Back".
9. I like big butts, and I can not lie.
10. The only song I've ever karaoked in public is "Son of a Preacher Man".
11. I could eat Werther's Chewy Caramels all day.
12. Today I ate Werther's Chewy Caramels all day.
13. I think I can hear my teeth rotting inside my head right now.
14. I had my first cavity at age 20.
15. I love my actual dentist as a person, but I hate going to see "The Dentist".
16. The worst pain I've ever endured was gallstones.
17. A close second is childbirth.
18. Third place is a tie between a kidney infection (on my birthday, no less, which is when...? POP QUIZ! Yes, January 13th! Yay! Thanks for paying attention)
19. And having 4 impacted wisdom teeth removed.
20. I once had a roommate that was both vegetarian and bulemic. If that makes sense to you, please explain it to me.
21. I admire vegetarians, but c'mon... "Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good..."
22. That's the prelude to one of my favorite lines in Pulp Fiction, which is: "Hey, sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know because I wouldn't eat the filthy Muthahfuggah."
23. For every cow a vegetarian saves, I'll probably eat three.
24. Really, I wish I didn't like steak so much and hate vegetables just as much.
25. If cauliflower was wrapped in bacon and dipped in chocolate, I just might eat it.
26. Enough food talk, I'm hungry.
27. Tonight I'm making chicken on the George Foreman Grill.
28. I love my George Foreman Grill.
29. I used it last night to make turkey burgers.
30. I'm a huge fan of reality shows.
31. I love Survivor - all time favorite castaway is Ethan, who won Season 3.
32. I also love The Amazing Race (even got my parents hooked on that one)
33. And America's Next Top Model. Go Kim!!
34. And The Apprentice (both Martha and Donald)
35. I would rather be Martha's Apprentice than Donald's.
36. My middle name is Elizabeth.
37. I have a BA in English.
38. I minored in French.
39. I took 2 years of Latin in high school.
40. Nobody needs 2 years of Latin.
41. I take Wellbutrin XL, and am not the least bit ashamed of it.
42. I'm a HUGE fan of Indigo Girls. HUGE.
43. My first car was a 1978 Chevy Impala, three-speed on the tree.
44. If my life were made into a movie, the part of me would be played by Jenna Elfman.
45. I haven't had my hair cut since July. It's now November.
46. I had the Dorothy Hamill 'do when I was little.
47. For my 30th birthday, I bought myself the Vintage Barbie Townhouse that I always wanted.
48. I have a tattoo.
49. I got the aforementioned tattoo at Sunset Strip Tattoo in West Hollywood.
50. I love big words, like "aforementioned".
51. I may well be the worst housekeeper of all time.
52. I am, however, a fairly decent cook.
53. I love to make desserts.
54. Once I wrecked a "just add water" Stir-And-Bake cake by adding too much water.
55. When I lived in an apartment I rented a storage room, and for a full year I wrote my checks out to "Pubic Storage". On purpose.
56. I have a violent aversion to pickles. Even the thought of the smell of a pickle makes me want to throw up.
57. I also have an unnatural aversion to clowns.
58. A clown chasing me while wielding a Super Soaker full of pickle juice would pretty much be my worst nightmare.
59. I have never drunk a cup of coffee in my life.
60. Never eaten at Taco Bell either.
61. I bought more yarn today, like I really needed to (shhhh...).
62. I got my Monkeemaven Hastily Whipstitched Handmade Original in the mail today (photos coming soon)!
63. As much as I love to talk about myself, coming up with 100 things about me is harder than I thought.
64. I have a superhuman sense of smell. I often wonder if I'm actually a superhero and I just haven't been able to harness my powers for the betterment of mankind yet because I'm too damn lazy.
65. My checks have pictures from Where The Wild Things Are on them.
66. I need to stop writing so many checks.
67. I was thrilled when I discovered that you can buy Shiner Bock in Missouri now. That's some good stuff.
68. I drink Diet Coke and very little else.
69. I have an embarrassing amount of dirty laundry on my basement floor right now.
70. They're real... and they're spectacular.
71. I love the Godfather films. Well, 1 and 2, anyway.
72. I love the greeters at WalMart. I think they're a hoot.
73. The last movie I saw in a theater was Madagascar.
74. The last movie I rented was also Madagascar.
75. My son Ryan pronounces it "Madaganstar".
76. I love thrift stores and estate sales. I've spent hours at a good thrift store.
77. One of my favorite estate sale finds is a belt buckle with the Whirlpool logo on it.
78. The most I've ever spent on a pair of shoes is $80 on a pair of Doc Martens 9 years ago. I felt so guilty about it that since then, the most I've spent on a pair of shoes is $40.
79. The most I've ever spent on a purse was $60 on eBay for my favorite purse of all time, my gigantic Coach duffle I've nicknamed Colossus. I can fit a 6-pack in there. Don't ask.
80. I'm currently banned from buying purses and shoes.
81. And yarn. (See # 61.)
82. I have a collection of Bad Christmas Music. (Did you know Ru Paul has a Christmas Album? It's entitled "HO HO HO".)
83. I'm probably the only person alive with 2 Falco CD's in her collection. Except for maybe... MRS. Falco.
84. Some of my former employers include: The Gap,
85. Victoria's Secret,
86. The Body Shop,
87. A snack bar at the St Louis Zoo,
88. Bridge / Savvis, whose former CEO was recently reported to have charged over $240,000 on his company AmEx at a strip club in Manhattan. Genius, eh?
89. And Aveda, where I was completely screwed over by one of the biggest beeeeyotches I've ever encountered - Kerry Lane - who deliberately changed the weekly schedule and then when I didn't show up for the shift I didn't know I had, she fired me. I was six months pregnant at the time (which she knew). I asked her why she didn't call me and she said she had called my apartment. I said why didn't you try my cell, you have that number. Then she said "Well, uh... I don't have all morning to call around for you..." Yeah, whatever. Karma'll gitcha, sista.
90. I also have a very large collection of vinyl LP's. Easily over 600.
91. I have a front-door goose named Hamish. I'll have to put up a pic of him. He's hot.
92. I would love to spend a day with Ellen DeGeneres. She doesn't try to tell you what to buy and what to read like Oprah does.
93. If the shoes I ordered from LL Bean don't get here today, I'm going to be really pissed off. (See # 80)
94. Once I dressed as Hester Prynne for a costume contest - and I won.
95. I have an awesome husband and I am crazy about him.
96. I have three awesome kids and I am crazy because of them.
97. If I won the lottery I'd pay off our debt, buy a nice 4BR house and a Toyota Sienna, buy my parents a fantastic house wherever they wanted to live, and take the whole family on a dream vacation.
98. I don't ever buy lottery tickets, so the chances of my winning are rather slim.
99. A book that changed my life was The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
100. I have a little bitty crush on my local weatherman. ;)